The Overnight Miracle (Part 2)
Barack Obama, dressed in a super hero costume (complete with cape), appears to the crowd of conservatives gathered in the Oval Office: President W., Senator John McCain, Treasury Secretary Paulson, and Governor Sarah Palin. Obama holds the magic wand of small government, tauntingly.
President: All right, everyone. Don’t panic! Obama, just hand me the wand, son.
Obama: Stay back. One step closer and I’ll use it myself.
Paulson: He’s bluffing, sir.
McCain: Of course he’s bluffing. He’s a liberal. He doesn’t know how to use it.
Obama: I may not know anything about small government, but I have a few ideas about wise government.
Obama snaps the wand in half. All gasp!
President: What, what have you done?
A clap of thunder and the room is thrown into darkness. A wisp of dark mist rises from behind a portrait of George Washington. The mist gathers above the group.
President: Now you’ve done it! You’ve angered the spirit of the Great Communicator.
Great Communicator (with a great rumbling voice): Who summoned me from my slumber?
President: I did, sir.
Great Communicator: And you are?
President: I’m George W. Bush, President of the United States.
Great Communicator: You? (a long pause) You’re in charge? (Another long pause.) You’re kidding me, right?
McCain: Oh Great Communicator, let me hear you say your catch phrase.
Great Communicator: My catch phrase? Look, I don’t do that schtick anymore.
McCain: Oh come on, please? For the Gipper?
Great Communicator: (sighs) All right. (deep breath) “Well, there you go again.”
President: Ha ha. Very good, sir. Gee I miss you.
Obama: Um, excuse me, I’m still here.
Palin: Yes, you are, but so am I. If I only had my thirty-aught-six with me, I’d make moose stew out of you. Since I’m not armed, I’ll just have to dumb you down.
Obama: Dumb me down?
Palin rips her face off the front of her head and reveals herself to be...
All: Dan Quayle!
Quayle: Yes, none other than Mr. Potato with an “e” himself!
President: I don’t believe it.
Paulson: Well, it explains the Katie Couric interview.
McCain: Oh my God! I just remembered something! I kissed you in front of millions of people...on national television. I think I’m gonna be sick... (runs out of the room)
Obama: Okay, this is getting too weird for me. I’m out of here.
Obama leaves, taking the rest of the light with him. The President jumps forward and picks up the broken wand.
President: Ha, I’ve got it! Um...anyone seen my scotch tape?
Great Communicator: Okay, joke's over! Who’s really in charge here?
President: (sighs) The vice president, Dick Cheney.
Great Communicator: Let me get him on the horn. Hello, can I talk to...what? Yeah, I’ll hold.
Paulson (on one knee): Please, don’t say a word to anyone about this...
President: What about Elmer’s glue? That should fix it.
(WELL, A LIBERAL CAN DREAM, CAN’T HE?)