A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Location: Southeastern, Pennsylvania, United States

Friday, February 23, 2007

An Endorsement for Philadelphia Mayor – Not!

I believe that the dictionary could use a variety of definitions when it comes to the word “chutzpah.” No words would be needed, but a drawing or photo of someone who most defines chutzpah at that moment could be used next to the word. Everyone seeing this illustration would then immediately know what the concept means. In the Philadelphia area we could use a photo of the mayor’s brother, Milton Street, in the dictionary given the events of the last few weeks.

Last week, Milton Street announced that he would run in the Democratic primary for the office of mayor. I’m not sure what his qualifications are, but I do know he has been a businessman, former city council member, community activist, and high profile pain-in-the-neck. Oh yes, he’s also under indictment from the federal government on corruption charges, which seems to be standard procedure for anyone in Philadelphia politics in recent years. I have to admire his efficiency; usually a Philadelphia politician would get elected first, then run afoul of the federal government after they have served their term for awhile. Street is so efficient that he has this requirement under his belt already. I’m sure that took a load off the minds of the Philadelphia electorate.

After his announcement, the media questioned his residency qualification. It seems that you actually have to live in the city in order to be placed in charge of it. As far as I know, this rule is in effect in many cities in this country. There are reports that he lives in the city, but other reports put his residence in New Jersey. Street’s response, in traditional political double-speak style, was to question what the media meant by their question. He asked them to clarify the difference between where he has been domiciled, or where he lives. They press the issue by asking, “Where do you live?” His response, “I live wherever I am when I get tired at night!” (Cue Papa Was A Rolling Stone here.)

That was last week. This week a few police officers in New Jersey remembered that there are a few outstanding traffic warrants against the mayor’s brother. The charges total over $3,000 and are ten years old. Naturally, our man Street was taken into custody, spent a few hours in lock-up, and made a political show of shaking all the police officer's hands when he was released within camera range of the local media gathered for this performance. At that time, he made some excuse that he thought that the tickets had been taken care of a long time ago. I can see that. I can see where you might forget about paying some traffic fines (for a few days), but that’s it! Now he is claiming that the arrest is politically motivated and he is going to sue the police department for harassment.

Dear reader, please take a moment to slap yourself in the forehead in disgust if the spirit moves you! Go ahead, I’ll wait...

Welcome back! Then, a few days ago, a war of words broke out between our man Street and City Councilman Michael Nutter. Coincidentally, Mr. Nutter has also thrown his hat into the primary ring for mayor. Nutter has called Milton Street an example of what’s wrong with Philadelphia. Mr. Street has responded that Nutter is a “watermelon man”, or someone who is more white than black on the inside.
Gentlemen, gentlemen, please! An episode of “Amos and Andy” had more dignity than this public display. Mr. Street, really! With such name-calling we don’t need the Klu Klux Klan and their racist vomit!

Mr. Mayor, perhaps you should send your brother on an extended vacation. Please understand we are not laughing with him, we are laughing at him! We can only imagine how embarrassed you must be. Just one request please, Mr. Mayor. Don’t send him away too soon. We’re having too much fun with him at the moment, and we’re sooooo bored with Britney Spears' mental breakdown.


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