A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Location: Southeastern, Pennsylvania, United States

Friday, June 15, 2007

The Cat and the Field Mouse: A Children’s Story

Someone shot a home video of their cat spending time with a field mouse and somehow news outlets around the country picked it up. It must have been a very slow news day: obviously Paris Hilton hasn’t sobbed to anyone since Monday. Anyway, the images of the mouse standing on its hind legs and touching noses with the cat made for a very heart-warming story of friendship despite the obvious differences in the animal kingdom.

If we could write this as a children’s story, then this scene might be described this way:

MOUSE: Hi, Mr. Cat! Do you think we can be friends?

CAT: I can’t see why not. Would you like to play for awhile, Mr. Mouse?

MOUSE: Oh, yes. That would be nice!

Then, for the next few hours the two new friends chased each other under a sunny blue sky. They played hide and seek. Then the mouse rode on the cat’s back until the cat hunched up and let the mouse tumble down his nice, soft fur.

Then, as reported by the news media, “The two hung out for a few hours when nature took its course..."

MOUSE: This is great! I think we’ll be friends forever and ever!

CAT: Yeah, but you know, something just occurred to me. I’m a cat, and all this playing has made me hungry. Suddenly you don’t look so cute and cuddly so much as you look delicious.

Then the cat licked his new friend’s head until the mouse’s hair was soaked and matted down. The cat continued to lick the mouse’s head until the mouse’s skull softened. Next the cat took his friend’s head between his two paws and squeezed...


Okay, so maybe it wouldn’t make a good children’s story after all, but the lesson to mice should be obvious. Of course if our field mouse had watched Hamas television, then he would’ve been prepared to blow himself and the cat up. (See Terror Mouse, 6/7/07.) So much for heart-warming stories of friendship. God help me, but I suddenly find myself wondering: why haven’t we heard about Paris Hilton in the last forty-eight hours?


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