arteejee

A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Location: Southeastern, Pennsylvania, United States

Sunday, July 14, 2019

Sunday Morning Post (V.1, #25) - They’re Coming for Our Brothers

The President has made it official:  the crackdown on illegal immigrants begins today.  Raids will be staged in cities across America to round up and deport "criminal" aliens.  I have not heard if any of those targeted to be rounded up have been accorded the courtesy of the Constitutionally guaranteed due process and they are indeed fugitives, but that’s not relevant to the larger issue.

The President’s administration has made their hostility and hatred toward immigrants very well known.  Democratic members of Congress have witnessed this antagonism first hand when they toured a border detention camp for immigrant children separated from their parents.  They have described horrific, inhumane conditions at these camps.

Meanwhile, in a laughable episode of political theater, Vice President Pence toured a detention facility for adult males.  He did not see the conditions there as horrific or inhumane.  Beyond the fact that the adults were caged in a large room with only mylar sheets to keep them warm, they all seemed to be in good health and well-treated.  The fact that they are in cages does not seem to bother anyone.

Pence pronounced the reports from Congress as “exaggerated rhetoric” which needs to be toned down.  I have not seen any reports that he toured the children’s immigrant camps where the real problems do exist and have been documented. 

So, this is where American evangelical attitudes towards those less fortunate are now, avert your eyes from the suffering and say, “Nothing to see here.”  Others from Christian and all other faiths protested in the streets of several American cities yesterday.  This video seems appropriate for the tenure of the times:


I fully expect the Vice President to investigate the reports of squalid conditions of a luxury resort at Palm Springs soon.  After all, billionaire vacationers have rights too! 

(Thank you for reading. And more importantly, takin’ it to the polls!)

Sunday, July 07, 2019

Sunday Morning Post (V.1, #24) – Ramming the Ramparts


In his Fourth of July hooray for me address, the President took some liberties with the American story.   More specifically, he embellished and changed around certain portions of our country’s history.  Naturally, the Internet and the media having been having too wonderful of a time with the President’s faux pas.

So what the hell!  Let’s jump on this band wagon lickety-split!  Here is how we believe the President would rewrite one episode of the American Revolution.

“Let me tell you, the winter of 1777 was incredible!   Washington and his Continental Army left Philadelphia and camped at Valley Forge that winter.

One day Washington gathered his staff at his wonderful headquarters and gave them a pep talk...

Washington:  Therefore, my plan is to take the airport at Newark, which will give us a commanding view of the city, truly a very beautiful view of the city, and we can retake it from the British.  Questions?

Lt. Col. Alexander Hamilton:  Yes sir, what’s an airport?

Washington: Seriously, Hamilton?   You ask irrelevant questions like that and people will begin to wonder how you got your portrait on the ten-dollar bill!

Hamilton:  Hey, I got connections, okay?

Washington:  Yeah, you got connections.   You know Ben Franklin’s got us both beat.   His kisser is on the 100-dollar bill, and he’s only a printer!  Go figure!

Lafayette (you know, some French guy):  Excuse me, Monsieur Washington?  Can we get back to your plan?

Washington:  Yes, of course.  Any way, we’ll march into Manhattan, take the city block by block, ram the ramparts...

Hamilton:  Begging the general’s pardon, sir, but wouldn’t it better if we rammed the doors of their headquarters like we did in Trenton?

Washington:  What?

Hamilton:  Think about it, sir.  Ramparts are high walls.  We can scale them, we can climb them, but it would take us forever to ram into them to breech the wall…

Washington:  For God’s sake, Hamilton!   Start thinking outside the box!  You’ll never get your life immortalized in a Broadway musical with that kind of thinking!

Hamilton: What’s a Broadway musical, sir?

Washington:  Oh, hang it all, man.  Lieutenant Burr!  Take Hamilton outside and give him a stern talking!  See if you can knock some sense into him!

Lafayette: Monsieur General, please?   What will we do after we defeat the British?

Washington: Hell, if I know!  The teleprompter stopped working!

Then Elizabeth Warren came in with trinkets from the nearby reservation, I don’t know…or something like that.  And that, my fellow Americans, is how we won the American Revolution with lots of red glare, walls that kept out the immigrants, and a beautiful health plan for everyone!"

Do not despair readers!  The President proved this week that he knows crap about history.   He won’t be rewriting anyone’s story any time soon. 

(Thank you for reading!   I wish I were making this up, but...)

Thursday, July 04, 2019

Happy Fourth of July, Everyone!*


I would be remiss as a historian if I did not remark on the Fourth of July holiday.

The holiday this year is becoming more like celebrating Christmas to me:  the current situation does not put me in the proper mood.   I see our decidedly Christian nation doing nasty un-Christian-like things, like setting up inhumane detention centers at our southern border and acting all put out when the LGBTQ community wants the same rights as everyone else.  I haven’t felt the Christian mood at Christmas for years.  The evangelicals fervent support of the President‘s administration only makes my mood more sour.

Ditto now for the Fourth of July.  Not feeling patriotic this year as our non-partisan celebration of liberty is run over by tanks and other armored vehicles on the National Mall.  No doubt this will make our leader teary-eyed with memories of the military parades in the USSR and other despotic regimes.  The morning media reports highlight that members of the military participating in today’s DC festivities are given instructions on what and what not to say if members of the media ask them for a comment.  So much for their First Amendment rights!

So, here’s to the hamburger, hot dog, and salads I will eat later today.  No fireworks for us, other than comforting our cats as they freak out at the explosions outside our house.  And I’ll think fondly on America’s future when I hope we can snatch it back from the despots in the name of democracy.

We’ll end with two videos for the holiday.  The first is a selection from 1776 in what I believe to be appropriate for this year’s mood.   The second is a tribute to comedian Arte Johnson, who passed away yesterday.




*For what it’s worth.

(Thank you for reading and please have a safe and Happy Fourth of July!)