A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Location: Southeastern, Pennsylvania, United States

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Short Notes – June 2007

It is the final week of the month and I am compelled to comment on the following news items.

NEWS ITEM #1 – Hotel heiress and general pain-in-the-ass-to-humanity Paris Hilton has been released from jail.


NEWS ITEM #2 – Pants suit dismissed. A judge has dismissed the lawsuit brought by a lawyer against a hard-working Korean dry cleaner for losing the lawyer’s pants. The plaintiff was seeking $54 million.

Oh my God! Oh my God! There is common sense in the world! Oh my God! This is so exciting that I’m feeling tightness in my chest! Give me my nitro pills! Oh my God! I’m hyperventilating! Crank up my CPAP machine to high so I can get a blast of fresh air! I’ve been searching for common sense in the health insurance industry, oh hell, American business in general for nearly twenty years, but I have yet to find any! Good going, your honor! You even saw fit to charge the old shark with all of the legal fees incurred by the dry cleaner! Way to go!

NEWS ITEM #3 – It was revealed recently that Vice President Dick (heh heh heh) Cheney’s office has not been complying with an executive order to report which classified documents they have requested from other government agencies. The Vice President feels that, as President of the Senate, his office should be counted as part of the legislative branch and not the executive branch. Therefore this rule – and perhaps the entire Constitution — doesn’t apply to him. The White House appears to be in agreement with his reasoning. Naturally, Congress is whining a lot about this, but they’re not doing much else.

Poor Dick! He wants so much to be God, but that position has been filled. Meanwhile, he and his assistant, the President, keep making blind grabs for more power. I’m finding it very hard to believe that these guys have not committed an impeachable offense by this time. What’s wrong with you people in Congress? We voted you into office to keep the President from meeting the goals of his agenda. Instead, you seem to be only a mild annoyance to Bush! Come on, people! Where are your balls?

(We shall discontinue today’s entry here, as Mr. Gunther appears to be in a very cranky mood.)


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