A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Location: Southeastern, Pennsylvania, United States

Wednesday, January 27, 2016

So Much Political Stupidity, So Little Time

The political circus that will be the presidential election of 2016 is coming at us quickly. The Iowa caucuses in a few weeks will be followed almost immediately by the New Hampshire primaries. The months long nominating process will begin in earnest.

So, how to assess the candidates? Thus far, it appears to be that the candidate who utters the most outrageous (read: stupid) statements gets most of the press and the lion’s share of the poll numbers. The Donald clearly has the advantage since he is a showman…and little more than that. The most alarming thing about his campaign is that people actually believe him to be the best candidate. 

In the meantime, the others who have obviously not said anything stupid in weeks are watching their poll numbers slip into single digits and eventual political oblivion. We have already bid adios to Rick Perry, Scott Walker, Bobby Jindal, and Lindsay Graham. They were very astute in quitting when they did because they saw the writing on the wall.

The others still trying the electorate’s patience - Huckabee, Christie, Santorum, Minnie the Moocher, Paul, Fiorina, Bush, Tillie the Toiler, Kasich, Carson, and Gilmore - by being stubborn about this whole nominating business. Apparently, they are actually serious about running for President, because it has been weeks since they have done or said anything so outrageous that it gets the attention of the (liberal) media.

Okay, so maybe they have not said anything stupid, but a few of them have done something stupid. Such as…Carly Fiorina having an anti-abortion rally at an arboretum and shanghaiing a group of children on a class trip to the arboretum for the purpose of displaying them in front of gruesome baby images just to score political points. First of all, what nitwit schedules a political rally for an arboretum? Also, what other nitwit believes that a group of young school children would remember any beneficial lessons from their day with plants and flowers?

Dinosaur bones in a natural history museum, yes; live plants, no.

For the record, the children’s parents were not smiling when they learned that their offspring had been snatched away from their intended trip for political means.

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie (yes, officially he is still the leader of the Garden State) took time out from campaigning in New Hampshire to return home to answer critics that he abandoned the state during last weekend’s blizzard. Residents along the coast noted that the storm produced flooding as bad as Hurricane Sandy, and howled at their governor’s chronic absenteeism. Christie responded that the state was left in the capable hands of the lieutenant governor, but he still missed the point of being an elected leader expected to finish his term in office before he chases after another position.

At least Sarah Palin had the honesty to tell the people of Alaska to bugger off half way through her term as their governor. She left the moose and glaciers behind to make a difference in the lower 48 states. I only mention her because - yes, blogger fans - she’s baaaaaaack!!!  She has made herself relevant again by endorsing Donald Trump.

Oh my God! That last sentence makes me feel so…dirty!

In a widely broadcast, publicized, and ridiculed appearance, Palin threw her support behind The Donald in Iowa. Trump welcomed her with a broad grin, talk show host Stephen Colbert welcomed Palin’s return as a source of good comedy material, and Tina Fey (God bless her) returned as Palin for last week’s episode of Saturday Night Live. So, in retrospect for a few people, Palin’s return was a good thing, albeit for all the wrong reasons.

I’ll admit I had a few laughs over Palin’s latest attempt to speak intelligible English, but suppose, just suppose, that her endorsement seals Trump's nomination. Cooler heads may fail to depose his ascension at the Republican National Convention. Keep in mind that the wisdom at large believed last summer that Trump would be a candidate has-been by this time.  Yet here he is, stronger than ever.

Only the likes of Colbert and Fey may get us through the political debacle to come.

(Thank you for reading.  Ah, satire!)


Anonymous Anonymous said...

American political campaigns (and to be honest Canadian as well) remind me of theatre, a Shakespearean farce that disintegrates into a tragedy. If all the energy that was put into them went into other, more worthwhile ventures, imagine how happy the world could be.

~ Freckles

January 27, 2016 at 8:03 PM  
Anonymous Janey said...


Criticizing the value of experiencing live plants at an arboretum will earn you a well-deserved bitch slap from me (written with love...).

When (if) you recover from that, you can continue to enjoy the return of your blog's unofficial sex symbol, the syntactically challenged Sarah Palin. I know I enjoyed the return of Tina Fey's impersonation (which my dear Mother thought was the actual Palin herself). Will Trump / Palin be the Republican ticket? If so, I may need to return to doing bonghits. How about Sanders / Ramona Africa for the Democratic ticket?

May I propose a solution? WARRIOR QUEEN FOR PRESIDENT! (Why, yes, WQ, I'd love to be your press secretary; I flattered that you asked!)

January 27, 2016 at 9:25 PM  
Blogger Raybeard said...

One of the many things I admire about your country is that you really can do (political) stupidity with flair and style. Well, maybe only up to a certain point, which some of the present candidates have already left far behind.
Our own equivalent politicos don't have even half the entertainment value.

January 28, 2016 at 3:59 AM  
Blogger Fearsome Beard said...

I accidentally turned on the tv and to the right channel at the right moment to catch that endorsement live. I had heard it was going to happen and if I had tried to catch it I probably would have missed it. I normally would not have watched it but was immediately captured by the mesmerizing language skills that are uniquely Sarah. Yes I was stuck watching a train wreck that I could turn off or turn away from. I still haven't figured out what she said, nor do I want to.

January 29, 2016 at 11:28 PM  
Blogger Ur-spo said...

For my health I am pulling the plug on political news. It does not matter. No matter who it is I will vote Democrat and (as AZ is red) my states' votes will go to the GOP candidate anyway. So there is no need for me to be sucked into the nonsense.

January 30, 2016 at 8:52 AM  
Blogger todd gunther said...

You've hit the nail on the head, Freckles,it is all theater!

i knew I'd get a rise out of you, Janey. Let me explain from my own life experience. When I was their age I was, are you sitting down, ambivalent towards flowers. I dare say that I was typical for most boys my age in that the only time we associated flowers with happy feelings was when we saw the smiles on our mother's faces when we presented them with flowers, which were most times bought with money from Dad. I do appreciate the beauty of flowers now, but I must emphasize that appreciation came with age and wisdom. I admit that I may generalizing, stereo-typing and not allowing for exceptions to my argument, but...oh, the hell with it. Come over and bitch slap me at your earliest convenience. I will graciously accept your criticism delivered in person.

Thank you Raybeard for your comment. Yes, we do have a certain flair when it comes to political theater.

Wow, Fearsome Beard! What was the chance of you tuning in at that moment? Are you okay? Will you need therapy after witnessing this trauma? Don't try to figure out what she said. Just point and laugh!

How can you escape all this political news, Spo? I wish you good luck on avoiding the carnage to come.

January 31, 2016 at 9:17 AM  

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