Proposed Softball Questions for the President

Presenting the first of an open-ended series of "soft" questions that the White House Press Corps would never think to ask the President.

1. Doesn't Paul Wolfowitz gross you out when he wets his comb?

2. Have you ever noticed that not many Democrats show up for your "town meetings"?

3. Truth or dare: wouldn't you rather lie about having sex with an intern, then whether or not so-and-so had nuclear weapons?

4. Speaking of which, could you try to say "nuclear" again, just for old time's sake? We need a good laugh.

5. Have you made sure Karl Rove is up-to-date with his rabies shots? How about distemper?

6. Given that North Korea is showing defiance about their nuclear capability, and now Iran is also flexing its nuclear muscle coupled with the anti-Semitic rhetoric of its leader, do you still believe that the battle for terrorists can still be fought...oh, never mind all that, just tell me how many fingers am I holding up?

7. Senator Clinton recently criticized your administration by suggesting that Congress is just one large "plantation". Do you believe this is true, and if so, can we expect to see "Gone With The Wind" broadcast on C-SPAN soon?

8. Does Dick Cheney bite?

9. If a train leaves Chicago for New York at 10:15 and another train leaves...sorry, did I lose you already?

10. Do you still insist that there is not enough data to support the concept of global warming when we're here in Bermuda shorts, Hawaiian shirts and sandals in January?