HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY, AMERICA!
The scene: a quiet evening at the home of two American intelligence agents somewhere outside the continental United States.
FIRST AGENT (FA): Hey, knock off for the night. American Idol is coming on over the satellite.
SECOND AGENT (SA): I’ll be there! I’m finishing this communiqué to Langley. This info about the next terrorist attack could save hundreds of lives.
FA: Relax, James Bond! It doesn’t matter anyway.
SA: Doesn’t matter? Didn’t you hear what I just said?
FA: Yeah, I know, hundreds of lives, blah, blah, blah. Maybe you didn’t hear the news. Libby got his sentence commuted by the President.
SA: What? The guy who was convicted of lying to Congress about outing the CIA agent in the media? That Libby?
FA: That one!
SA: But that’s incredible! Doesn’t the President realize what he just did?
FA: The President probably believes he did it as a humanitarian gesture out of respect for Libby’s family.
SA: Humanitarian gesture? What about a humanitarian gesture towards us, towards our families, to say nothing of the actual fighting men and women on the front lines. Will he betray them too?
FA: Easy! Calm down!
SA: How can I calm down? All of the intelligence work we do, all the lives we could save, is all for nothing if he allows his people to tell the world who spies for us. Of all the arrogance...
FA: I know, but the President was within his power to commute the sentence.
SA: Fine, but was it a wise use of his power? I don’t believe this.
FA: I know what you’re saying. Finish your communiqué.
SA: Oh, I’ll finish it tomorrow.
FA: What about all the lives that could be saved?
SA: What about them? What should I care about lives when the White House doesn’t even care?
FA: Hey, the Fourth of July fireworks are coming on.
SA: Why do I want to watch fireworks?
FA: To remind us what a great country we work for? (Both laugh.)
SA: Oh, right. I forgot!
DISCLAIMER: THE PRECEEDING WAS A WORK OF FICTION. NO INTELLIGENCE AGENTS WERE KNOWINGLY HARMED DURING THE WRITING OF THIS PIECE.
FIRST AGENT (FA): Hey, knock off for the night. American Idol is coming on over the satellite.
SECOND AGENT (SA): I’ll be there! I’m finishing this communiqué to Langley. This info about the next terrorist attack could save hundreds of lives.
FA: Relax, James Bond! It doesn’t matter anyway.
SA: Doesn’t matter? Didn’t you hear what I just said?
FA: Yeah, I know, hundreds of lives, blah, blah, blah. Maybe you didn’t hear the news. Libby got his sentence commuted by the President.
SA: What? The guy who was convicted of lying to Congress about outing the CIA agent in the media? That Libby?
FA: That one!
SA: But that’s incredible! Doesn’t the President realize what he just did?
FA: The President probably believes he did it as a humanitarian gesture out of respect for Libby’s family.
SA: Humanitarian gesture? What about a humanitarian gesture towards us, towards our families, to say nothing of the actual fighting men and women on the front lines. Will he betray them too?
FA: Easy! Calm down!
SA: How can I calm down? All of the intelligence work we do, all the lives we could save, is all for nothing if he allows his people to tell the world who spies for us. Of all the arrogance...
FA: I know, but the President was within his power to commute the sentence.
SA: Fine, but was it a wise use of his power? I don’t believe this.
FA: I know what you’re saying. Finish your communiqué.
SA: Oh, I’ll finish it tomorrow.
FA: What about all the lives that could be saved?
SA: What about them? What should I care about lives when the White House doesn’t even care?
FA: Hey, the Fourth of July fireworks are coming on.
SA: Why do I want to watch fireworks?
FA: To remind us what a great country we work for? (Both laugh.)
SA: Oh, right. I forgot!
DISCLAIMER: THE PRECEEDING WAS A WORK OF FICTION. NO INTELLIGENCE AGENTS WERE KNOWINGLY HARMED DURING THE WRITING OF THIS PIECE.
posted by todd gunther | 7:11 AM
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