Short Notes – March 2008
NEW YORK GOVERNOR SPRITZER UNDER FEDERAL INVESTIGATION AS A CLIENT OF A HIGH-CLASS PROSTITUTE RING
In a long tradition that includes FDR and JFK, proof once again that Democrats have more fun!
IN AN ANNOUNCEMENT ABOUT THE SLOWING AMERICAN ECONOMY, PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH ANSWERS, “I HADN’T HEARD THAT” TO A REPORTER'S INQUIRY ABOUT SPECULATION THAT GASOLINE COULD GO AS HIGH AS $4.00 A GALLON
Gee, Mr. President, this information was in all the newspapers. Honestly, would it strain your eyes too much to look at a paper for once in your administration, instead on relying on your aides to spoon-feed you the facts they think you want to hear? Then you could see the news as the American people see it. You could also get the news on television. For you, I recommend Fox News; they’re more fair and balanced towards your understanding of the world.
I realize it’s not all your fault. I’m beginning to think that this is a hereditary condition in your family. I recall George Bush the First expressing amazement when he saw a price scanner at the supermarket checkout line. Everyone else in the country had already known about this for years, but it was a newfangled contraption to dear ole dad. Still, it must be nice to live inside a bubble of privileged ignorance.
CONSERVATIVE COMMENTATOR WILLIAM F. BUCKLEY, JR EXPIRES
I meant to write about this news last week, but I just now found my Roget’s Thesaurus. I’m sure Buckley himself wore out four or five copies of this reference work in his lifetime. Obituary writers have been having a field day with his passing. One obituary I read had an opening paragraph that would have required the reader to have a master’s degree in English to get through it. Oh, sorry, Mr. President.
Now we’ll pay tribute to the man, a human being much like the rest of us, but one with an amazing intellect. Yet we must acknowledge that he was a worthy political adversary. His conservative fans lionized him; his liberal detractors scorned him. His mastery of the English language was nothing short of astonishing. Certainly, we could quarrel with his political wisdom, but such palaver is what makes America such a great country! We shall not witness his like again for some time to come.
Translation of this last item for the President: Conservative commentator William F. Buckley, Jr. has died. He was very smart. He used a lot of big words. Bye-bye, Mr. Buckley!
In a long tradition that includes FDR and JFK, proof once again that Democrats have more fun!
IN AN ANNOUNCEMENT ABOUT THE SLOWING AMERICAN ECONOMY, PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH ANSWERS, “I HADN’T HEARD THAT” TO A REPORTER'S INQUIRY ABOUT SPECULATION THAT GASOLINE COULD GO AS HIGH AS $4.00 A GALLON
Gee, Mr. President, this information was in all the newspapers. Honestly, would it strain your eyes too much to look at a paper for once in your administration, instead on relying on your aides to spoon-feed you the facts they think you want to hear? Then you could see the news as the American people see it. You could also get the news on television. For you, I recommend Fox News; they’re more fair and balanced towards your understanding of the world.
I realize it’s not all your fault. I’m beginning to think that this is a hereditary condition in your family. I recall George Bush the First expressing amazement when he saw a price scanner at the supermarket checkout line. Everyone else in the country had already known about this for years, but it was a newfangled contraption to dear ole dad. Still, it must be nice to live inside a bubble of privileged ignorance.
CONSERVATIVE COMMENTATOR WILLIAM F. BUCKLEY, JR EXPIRES
I meant to write about this news last week, but I just now found my Roget’s Thesaurus. I’m sure Buckley himself wore out four or five copies of this reference work in his lifetime. Obituary writers have been having a field day with his passing. One obituary I read had an opening paragraph that would have required the reader to have a master’s degree in English to get through it. Oh, sorry, Mr. President.
Now we’ll pay tribute to the man, a human being much like the rest of us, but one with an amazing intellect. Yet we must acknowledge that he was a worthy political adversary. His conservative fans lionized him; his liberal detractors scorned him. His mastery of the English language was nothing short of astonishing. Certainly, we could quarrel with his political wisdom, but such palaver is what makes America such a great country! We shall not witness his like again for some time to come.
Translation of this last item for the President: Conservative commentator William F. Buckley, Jr. has died. He was very smart. He used a lot of big words. Bye-bye, Mr. Buckley!
posted by todd gunther | 5:04 PM
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