A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Location: Southeastern, Pennsylvania, United States

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Britney Spears – Leader of the Free World!

New poll numbers today suggest that Barack Obama has lost some of his lead over John McCain. Polls last week placed Obama with a nine point lead over McCain in their race for the White House. This week the candidates are even.

Here is what the polls show:

Barack Obama favored by 44%.
John McCain favored by 44%.
Britney Spears favored by 53%.

Okay, I’m having mu doubts about the entire polling industry now. I’m a firm believer in the tradition of all percentages adding up to a total of 100%, so imagine my surprise at these results. Then I read that the margin of error for this survey was 53%. Well, that explains everything...

So how did Ms. Spears get into the Presidential race? Apparently it was all John McCain’s idea. His campaign ran a series of ads last week suggesting that, even though Obama was just as popular as the pop songstress, this did not qualify him to be the leader of the free world. Some in the media have suggested that these ads are responsible for Obama’s decline in popularity.

Score one for the McCain camp, but what happened to the issues, grandpa?

Now that Britney has been dragged into this, we should probably evaluate her qualifications for the White House. Where does she stand on the issues? Well, my fellow Americans, we don’t have to been concerned about her qualifications or her stance because she is NOT RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT.

I only mention this minor detail in passing because I know many of us are so busy with our day-to-day lives that we depend on ten second sound bites to get all of our information. I would hate to see any one of us get confused about who is running for the White House just because the presumptive Republican nominee threw her name into the mix. Although McCain might want to consider Britney as a running mate, and thereby dilute the “age issue”...just a thought.

I realize that many of us don’t have time to explore the candidates proposed policies, which is why many of us will depend on the Gallup/Harris/Quinnipiac organizations to tell us for whom to vote in November. Come on, admit it: many of us won’t make up our minds until the weekend before the election and see who the polls predict to win. Then we’ll vote for that person regardless of where they stand. Yo, America, this is not the way we should be choosing our leaders!

Actually, a Spears candidacy for leader of the free world doesn’t seem that far-fetched. Compare the stubborn, arrogant cluelessness of the George W. Bush team with the vapidity of a possible Britney Spears administration. See, there’s no difference at all!

By the way, Britney Spears is not running for President; we can’t emphasize this point too much.


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