A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Wednesday, August 12, 2009

A Summer Reading List for Justice Sonia Sotomayor

Don’t you hate when this happens...?

You look forward to a carefree summer reading John Grisham novels on the beach when an incredible job offer is tossed into your lap. You just can’t pass this up! So you endure the long, tortuous interview process and you are notified that, yes, you got the job. The actual duties don’t start until October, so you figure you have some down time ahead of you for reading Grisham. Right?

Wrong! Your new employer informs you that you are needed for a special project that has to be completed in September, a full month before you are scheduled to start! You could be overwhelmed by this project, which needs to be reviewed and researched before you even so much as see any orientation materials about your new job. What to do? You hunker down with whatever materials you have at your disposal, resolve to spend long hours away from family and friends in a possibly windowless room studying, studying, studying. Oh yes, forget any thoughts about the carefree days on the beach.

This is the situation now facing the newest employee on the Supreme Court, Justice Sonia Sotomayor, who was sworn in an historic ceremony on August 8. It is a daunting task, but clearly the new justice is up to the challenge. With this in mind, we here at arteejee propose a summer reading list which she can use for her special project, a few orientation materials, and some lighter reading when her eyes get too bug-eyed reading court briefs late into the night.

1. Court Brief: Campaign Finance Reform vs. The United States
2. So you want to be a Supreme Court Justice? (self help pamphlet)
3. Court Brief: Angry, Narrow-Minded Townsfolk vs. Barack Obama
4. The Supreme Court for Dummies – with a foreword by Antonin Scalia
5. Court Brief: Sarah Palin vs. The Obama Death Committees
6. The How and Why Wonder Book of the American Judicial System
7. Court Brief: Sarah Palin vs. The Little Voices in Her Head
8. The Pelican Brief (come on, let the justice have some down time!)
9. Court Brief: New Manhattan playboy Jon Gosselin vs. left-down-on-the-Berks- County-farm-with-her-brood-of eight-reality-television-exploited-children-superstar-mom Kate Gosselin.

In all seriousness, congratulations and good luck to our newest Justice!

(Thank you for reading. Please don’t believe everything you hear at town hall meetings.)


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