A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Location: Southeastern, Pennsylvania, United States

Friday, September 26, 2008

The Overnight Miracle

Scene: The Oval Office

Time: Late at night

President George W. Bush is on the phone when Secretary of the Treasury Paulson, Senator John McCain, and Alaska Governor Sarah Palin enter.

President: Hey guys. Have a seat until I make this call to Dick. I’ll put it on speaker phone so you can listen in.

Recorded Message: We are sorry, but the great, all powerful Dick Cheney is not available to take your call at this time. Please leave a message after the beep and your call will be returned when he gets around to it. (Beep!)

President: Dick! It’s W. Where the hell are you? We need to solve this economic crisis with a large bailout. I was wondering, um, have you seen my special small government magic wand in your office? You know the one I has a picture of Bonzo the Chimp embossed in gold on the side...well, anyway, call me! Quick! (Hangs up the phone.)

McCain: What can we do, Mr. President? Forge a bipartisan coalition in Congress to settle this crisis? Issue a joint statement calming the public’s fears? Well, sir?

President: No, I’ll tell you what. Help me find my magic wand! Paulson, check the cushions on the couch. John, look behind the paintings. Sarah...say, you look prettier than a Texas rose tonight!

Palin: (giggles) Oh, Mr. President! You’re such a flirt!

President: Heh, heh! Anyway, Sarah, you can look for my wand, um, I know, under my desk! I’ll just sit here and look through the piles of papers here on top of my desk.

Paulson: But, Mr. President, the top of your desk is spotless!

President: Look, do you want to help or not?

All: Yes, sir!

President: Fine, then Paulson, cushions! John, paintings! Palin, under my desk!

All: Yes, sir!

President: I’ll try Dick again! (on phone) Dick, it’s W. Again. Are you there? Stop screwing around! Go hunt for lawyers on your own time! This is serious! Damn it, Dick, my legacy is at stake!

(Suddenly, the door to the Oval Office swings open with a loud bang. A blinding light from beyond the door washes the entire room, where the occupants shield their eyes. A lone figure in a superhero costume and cape steps out of the light and into the room. The figure’s costume has a large 'O' on his chest. Everyone in the room immediately recognizes the stranger in the cape.)

President: You! What the hell...

Obama: (holding the wand in front of him) Are you by some chance looking for this?

All: Gasp!

(to be continued...)


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