Cruz Hears A Who?
History will
record that Texas Senator Ted Cruz (R) took to the floor of the US Senate overnight
on September 24, 2013 to speak out against Obamacare. He was engaged in his own filibuster to
prevent the Senate from voting on a bill he favored.
Confused
yet? Actually, he and everyone else with
a brain inside the Beltway knew that a House bill he favored – continuing
funding of the government while defunding Obamacare - would not be passed as it
was voted on in the House. The Senate
would pass the funding part, but not the defunding part. So the best way to
defeat this inevitable defeat is to…speak out against your own ideals.
No, this
still doesn’t make any sense. Yet he went
through with it anyway.
And we, the
American people, had to listen to his strange, crazed rant about Nazi Germany
being ignored; a stirring reading of Dr. Seuss’ Green Eggs and Ham; and God
only knows what else that had nothing to do with his goal…on which we’re still not
clear. So this is what we had to hear,
but what did Ted Cruz hear, see, feel during his 21 hour all-about-me
pontificating. He probably endured the
following.
1. The sound of crickets, and I don’t mean
Buddy Holly’s backup band.
2. Imagined the sounds of tea party
faithful writing checks to his campaign/PAC/pet political project.
3. His stomach growling after several
hours of going without nourishment.
4. The sound of urine backing up from
his bladder into his kidney as he denied his body the chance to void itself.
5. Heard the creaking of his ankles as
they gave way under the weight of his self-centered ego.
6. The groans from members of his own
party as they envision the GOP fading further and further from relevance.
7. The sensation of his kidneys dissolving
in its own uric acid, which must have reached flood stage at some point.
8. A small voice of reason inside his
head shouting, “WTF, Ted?” (Admittedly this one is a stretch.)
9. Mitch McConnell shouting to him,
“Hey, I’m going to get in a round of golf with Harry Reid. Would you mind turning off the lights when
you’re done, Ted?”
(Thank you for reading. Try the green eggs and ham again, Ted. They may be good with ketchup!)
posted by todd gunther | 7:04 AM
5 Comments:
And many in the GOP see the likes of Cruz and Paul as their future.
Goddess help them.
Hi Bob, thanks for the comment. Somebody, anybody help us all if this man gets support for the White House!
Did our Founding Fathers make a mistake somewhere that allows Cruz and his fellow traitors hold up the business of government? I am in favor of a new republic where reason and compromise exist.
Thanks for the comment, David. Unfortunately reason, compromise and common sense are immune to legislation.
I was personally disappointed in Cruz. It was all over the news that he'd vowed to "talk until I can't stand". I thought; "Cool, I can't stand you now so you must be done." Teabilly kept right on talking.
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