A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Tuesday, October 22, 2013

“…And then, of course...”

Fox News contributor Sarah Palin’s recent filibuster length answer to a question on Megan Kelly’s show last week has been making the rounds of the liberal media. Chris Matthews, aided by several sympathetic commentators, ridiculed the performance on a segment of MSNBC’s Hardball.  The Huffington Post excerpted the interview on their website, leaving its readers to fill in their own opinions.

Kelly threw the gauntlet down with her transitional introduction between a film clip of President Obama’s remarks and Palin’s response:

“So the President you heard there suggesting that nothing has done more damage to our credibility in the world and our standing with other countries than this latest DC fight. Really?”

Okay, Megan, first of all your “Really” came off as condescending. I hasten to remind you of your network's slogan, “Fair and balanced.” At this point, we’ll totally throw this concept out the window because here comes tea party pit bull Sarah Palin. Megan asked Palin for her opinion of Obama’s comment.

Let the rant begin:

“I think that remark is one of his more out-of-touch remarks we’ve heard in recent days…”

(Okay, but at least his comments make grammatical sense, unlike some Fox commentators we know. Please continue…)

“…you know what emboldened our enemies and what empowered competitors was his promise to fundamentally transform a solvent, free, exceptional country into something we’re not going to recognize…”

(By competitors, I’m guessing that she is referring to our economic competitors like China. Of course, Obama empowered our competitors. I doubt that this empowerment had anything to do with millions of Americans buying products marked “Made in China” at their local Walmart. Of course not!)

“Also, what has emboldened enemies is he’s double our debt since he’s been elected, putting (us) on a path towards bankruptcy, and then locking up our pipelines and resources that will result in us being more reliant on foreign imports for energy, and then, of course he, having left behind, his administration having left behind our brave men in Benghazi to be murdered, and then of course…"

(Okay, Sarah, take a breath. Um…is that saliva frothing I see on the side of your lips? Just wondering…)

“…there’s Syria, where he promised to bomb Syria, because in that civil war Syria was going to bomb Syria...”

(Yes, Syrians fighting Syrians. I guess that’s why they consider it a civil war.)

“…and then we never heard another word again about his threat to bomb in a foreign civil war,”

(Yes, because we did that once before, Sarah, and it didn’t work. Google Vietnam for more information.)

“…and then, of course, more recently, Megan…”

(This has to be a world record for using commas in such a short time span.)

“…he's using our military (not) to fight our enemies, our military, our vets shutting down memorials and holding them hostage in terms of budget deals, threatening to withhold pay checks for our brave men and women…”

(Someone call a doctor! She’s getting delirious! Medic! Stat!)

At this point, Megan Kelly jumped in to ask a follow up question, as if she suddenly remembered that this is her show. Up to this point, Kelly had listened patiently, or smoldered in a way that would have made Edgar Kennedy proud, take your pick. It’s probably just as well, because God only knows where Sarah would go from here. We can only speculate:

“...and of course, he set the Hindenburg on fire, and of course he was on the grassy knoll the day Kennedy was shot…”

(She’s into serious rambling now. Code Blue! Code Blue!)

Ah, Sarah, once again you make yourself look like an idiot in the national media. It’s okay; this is why we tolerate you. You speak for the tea party so well, when you, of course, go off on one of your moronic rants.

(Thank you for reading. Ramble on, Sarah, ramble on.)


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