A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Friday, July 11, 2014

Glenn Beck Passes to Jesus Who Kicks…SCORES!

By all rights, my lower jaw should be aching after it hit the floor this week when I heard one right wing political pundit announce his intentions to do something about the humanitarian crisis on our own border. This week, Glenn Beck stated that he would take tractor trailer loads of water, food, teddy bears and soccer balls to alleviate the suffering of an estimated 60,000 Central American children who have crossed our border illegally to seek asylum. details that he will be accompanied by two Congressmen (both Republicans!), clergy, and rabbis to the border.

I actually saw the clip of Beck making this announcement. I can personally attest to the fact that he was not screaming at the camera as he spoke or wearing any semblance of a tin foil chapeau. 
My lower jaw is aching.

The most interesting part of this story is the reaction from his base followers, the conservative, allegedly Christian right. They are, oh how would the French put it, pissed. Beck is being called a traitor to the republic after he made his announcement. Many people in the middle and to the left of the political spectrum are not surprised at this hypocrisy.

The children - refugees not massing somewhere in some far-flung region like the Iraqi desert, but here in the US - are escaping the violent atmosphere of their Central American homelands. The boys as young as 14 are pressed into local militias to fight. Many fear that young girls are sold as sex slaves. And we wonder why they’re seeking asylum at our border?

These right wing Christians who are lambasting Beck for acting “Christ-like” (MSNBC’s host Joe Scarborough’s words), should ask themselves the question they live by: What Would Jesus Do?
Beck is guessing that Jesus would appear within the mass of prepubescent humanity, hand out bottled water, grill burgers for lunch, then tell the children, “Rest a half hour before you play. I’ll be setting up the soccer nets over here.  Oh, and don’t forget your complimentary teddy bears.”

At this point, the well nourished, rested and entertained children will have a rude awakening. They will find out that they won’t be welcomed into their new country as people working towards citizenship, but rather sent back to their own countries quicker than Quasimodo can shout “Sanctuary”. The Obama administration is requesting millions to set up procedures which will expedite these children’s deportation.

In past conflicts, minors escaping political persecution would be welcomed to our shores. European refugees during WWII were actually adopted by families in the United States. Given the current mood of America today, I don’t see that happening this time.

At least this time the children will have teddy bears to use as shields once they return home.

Glenn Beck’s actions are not just the Christian thing to do. It’s the right thing to do, and should be recognized as a great humanitarian gesture in our troubled and hypocritical times. 

(Thank you for reading! There! I’ve said something nice about Glenn Beck and I don’t feel at all dirty!)


Blogger Bob said...

I can see why his followers are pissed at him.
It's Christian Love to punish children, dontcha know!

July 11, 2014 at 9:21 PM  
Blogger Amanda said...

For once, Glen followed his heart. 60,000 kids? Maybe all those pro-lifers could adopt them. That would be the right thing to do.

July 12, 2014 at 9:30 AM  
Blogger Raybeard said...

It's surely only a matter of (short) time before someone demands that the words at the base of the Statue of Liberty be amended - or deleted - to reflect 'today's situation'. Oh, what's that? Somebody already has?

July 12, 2014 at 10:56 AM  
Blogger todd gunther said...

Hi Bob. Now I'm confused. didn't the concept of "spare the rod, spoil the child" spring from Christianity, or am I misinterpreting that. Although this idea doesn't explain the thousands of stories we've heard over the years about nuns armed with steel rulers in parochial school.

Pro-lifers adopting immigrant children would be the perfect solution Nadege, but I'm not holding my breath for this idea to catch on.

Thank you Raybeard for your comment. We are certainly acting like that high-minded rhetoric no longer applies to us. Actually I wrote about this in June 2006, but I can't access my entry at the moment--I'm getting an error message. I may have to reprint my original essay just to show how little the issue has progressed.

July 14, 2014 at 7:03 AM  
Blogger Fearsome Beard said...

All I can say is those conservative ones who most likely call themselves "Christian" have to keep asking " What would Jesus do" because they don't know what he would actually do and obviously are not capable of figuring out what he would actually do.
Now having said that, may I add you to my spiffy new Fearsome Buds blog roll?

July 14, 2014 at 7:57 PM  
Blogger todd gunther said...

Thank you, Fearsome Beard for your message. You raise a good point. Yes, please add me to your blog roll.

July 15, 2014 at 9:53 AM  

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