arteejee

A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Saturday, May 31, 2014

Snort Bites – May 2014


MEGHAN MCCAIN DECLARES THAT SHE DOES NOT LIKE KARL ROVE

Aw, that’s too bad, princess! Who doesn’t like Uncle Karl? He is so cuddly cute when he’s bashing liberals on Fox News, and he’s so endearing when he gives us his bizarre takes on American history. 
 
Actually, I’m kidding. I can’t stand the melon head, which (when you think about it) is still a compliment when you consider that his former boss (Bush the younger) nicknamed him “Turd Blossom.” 
  
PRESIDENT OBAMA ACCEPTS VA HEAD ERIC SHINSEKI RESIGNATION AMIDST MOUNTING EVIDENCE OF CORRUPTION AT VA FACILITIES 

Okay, so the cry babies on Capitol Hill now have the head they sought. Perhaps they’ll stuff and mount it next to Susan Rice, who saw her career go down in flames when she relied (perhaps too much) on talking points from the CIA in the wake of the Benghazi attack. 
 
So we now have a scapegoat! Great! So how about a solution? Surely between the hundreds of heads on the Hill and the White House, somebody should be able to come up with some way to serve those who have served us. For those playing along at home, the score at the half is Conservative Critics 1, Obama Administration 0, and America’s veterans…still waiting.

MEANWHILE, ON THE CAT FRONT…

We’re seeing some improvement in attitudes among the old and new children at Chez Gunther. Oreo is still living in our basement, but she is more relaxed and willing to approach the door at the top of the steps. Beyond that door, “Psycho Cat” Nyla still has the run of the first floor. 
  
Gray Girl has been living in my room for the entire week. She is also comfortable with her immediate surroundings and anxious to explore the world beyond my bedroom door. "Psycho Cat" also lurks behind this door.

We’re encouraged that their relationship has progressed from anger paws poking under the door with much hissing and guttural growls (guess who?) to touching paws and finally Nyla sitting outside the door, staring at the crack, and meowing softly as if she were calling to her little sister. This has all happened within the space of four days.

So this weekend along the cat front we expect sunny skies, lots of napping, with only a slight chance of fur flying. Tonight, 90% chance of cat nip under clear skies. 

THEN FINALLY...

Here’s a thought that popped in and out of my head in a flash this week: Wouldn’t it be disillusioning if someone determined that the Mona Lisa is a selfie?

Thoughts?

(Thank you for reading. Karl Rove! No sir, he definitely does not arouse me in any way, shape or form.)

7 Comments:

Blogger Bob Slatten said...

The "cry babies on Capitol Hill" won't ever do anything, they just want someone to blame.

And glad to hear the kids seem to be moving toward, maybe not abject love, but at least abject tolerance.

May 31, 2014 at 10:02 AM  
Blogger David Jeffreys said...

Your cats surely are territorial, if not just terror all real. Guess doors do make for good boundaries. Nyla has been her own "warrior queen" in the house, and needs to have time for the adjustment to her territory.

May 31, 2014 at 3:34 PM  
Blogger Nadege said...

Your cry babies high on the Hill want nothing to do with peons (vets or not) at the bottom. Spend more money on the mass even the ones who paid with their lives defending american interests abroad? Never, unless they are shamed into it. Karl Rove has many tricks in his bag. He is brilliant, a master of deceit!
It has been said that Mona Lisa is Leonardo but I like your selfie version and Da Vinci would love your witty remarks on what is going on in our landscape.
It will be so interesting to read how the cats get along when they finally meet; hopefully, behaving better than humans.

June 1, 2014 at 12:25 PM  
Blogger Ur-spo said...

Mr. Rove can go suck lemons; it would sweeten his disposition.

June 1, 2014 at 5:40 PM  
Blogger todd gunther said...

Yes, Bob,that about sums up the conservatives aim in life: point fingers and delegate blame.

Thank you, David. Acclimating all of our children will take longer this time, but i want to do it with as little trauma as possible.

Thank you Nadage for your thoughts. The Mona Lisa just popped into my head without the aid of (ahem) pharmaceutical influence. I'll keep updating on our cats as the situation progresses.

Ur-spo; if it were only that easy, but it may be worth a try. I won't tell you what Warrior Queen believes he should suck...but you can use your imagination. Thanks for writing!

June 3, 2014 at 6:29 AM  
Blogger Harpers Keeper said...

If the Mona Lisa was a selfie that would mean it was actually Leonardo da'V in drag..... not the most shocking idea I've ever heard ...and probably the plot of the next Dan Brown novel

June 3, 2014 at 10:52 PM  
Blogger todd gunther said...

Oops1 I didn't mean to give Dan Brown plot ideas...not that he needs any. Thanks for your thoughts!

June 5, 2014 at 7:56 AM  

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