A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Location: Southeastern, Pennsylvania, United States

Thursday, April 05, 2007

The Accidental Gigolo

Let’s pretend that you are on vacation, alone, far away from the ones you love and who love you. More importantly, you’re very far away from your significant other when you meet another person with whom you are compelled to share intimate relations. You, being a sexual tourist, leave all care behind just to engage in carnal knowledge with this foreign stranger.

Of course male sexual vacationers have been doing this for centuries. This time, it is different. This time the sexual tourist is not a man, but a woman.

This phenomenon was brought to my attention from an article in Bust magazine; their masthead motto is (and I’m not making this up) “The Magazine for Women Who Need to Get Something Off Their Chest.” The articles are geared toward women, are written by women, and go beyond the traditional women’s issues, although a fashion spread will pop up from time to time. The language can be frank and some of the subject matter would not be considered suitable for mixed company. One such subject details the adventures of our today’s female sexual tourists.

One of these vacationers reported that she spent four days with one man who lived in a shack near the beach. During that time period they “smoked pot, talked about Bob Marley and had sex.” She gave the man $200 for his time, although the story reports that many times money is not always given. Gifts and airline tickets are sometimes given to these men known as “beach boys”.

Now any American male who reads this article may ask themselves, “Sounds great! How can I sign up?” Well, let’s just hold on a minute and consider all the pros and cons of this career change before we go stampeding off to Jamaica. After all, it may sound like a cushy job, but it could be fraught with peril.

First of all, my guess is that this beach boy is an independent contractor. That means he is responsible for all of his expenses -- food, shelter, utilities, taxes, medical/dental and vision coverage, and, of course, let’s not forget the pot. Granted, he may grow his own cannabis, but even if he does there are still a lot of expenses to come out of that $200.

The article, much to its credit, states that HIV still exists in the world, particularly in Africa where it is infecting large chunks of the population. Then, of course, there are still the old sexually transmitted diseases that can still threaten quality of life once the adventurers return from their travels. Many vacation souvenirs are not meant to collect dust on the shelves of our memories.

I realize that this type of adventure is not everyone’s taste, and some reading this may be scandalized by these revelations. (It has been reported that the Pope will come out against this practice when his memoir is released in a few weeks. What a killjoy!) Still, we can’t ignore a situation just because it is unpleasant and shocking. The best we can do is say, “Yes, these things happen”, warn all about the consequences, and plan our next vacation for Jamaica.* I wonder if that beach boy has a sister?

*The Jamaica Tourist Board has not endorsed this blog entry.


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