arteejee

A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Friday, March 20, 2009

Short Notes – March 2009

AIG chief Edward Liddy tries to calm public outrage over corporate bonuses when he tells Congress he has asked the AIG executives to give back $164 million in bonuses they received from the company. The statement happened during testimony in front of a Congressional committee. The tactic doesn’t work because the public is still pissed.

Okay, everyone. Put away your pitch forks and torches; they’re will be no bourgeois roasting today. Mind you, this status could change. I would advise all villagers to stay on alert and be ready to storm the bastions of big business on a moment’s notice.

Former vice president Dick Cheney says that President Obama has made Americans less safe as he dismantles many of the Bush Administration security measures in the war against terror.

Let’s not get excited about this; after all, Mr. Cheney is an American who has the right to express his opinion. Similarly, we also have the right to express our opinions and his comment deserves an appropriate response. Oh, here’s one: Shut the hell up, Dick!

On the other hand, Cheney’s former boss, George W. Bush, declined to criticize President Obama, saying that the new President needs all the support we can give him. Hmm, maybe George is a class act after all. Too bad he confused strength for arrogant stubbornness for eight years, but we survived.

Pope Benedict incites controversy when he states that condoms aggravate the AIDS crisis in Africa by encouraging more sex acts.

Apparently Rush Limbaugh has the week off from saying something stupid. I think I know what the Pope was trying to say, but he misses the point. If abstinence doesn’t work, then maybe lives can be saved when condoms are used. Of course, if everyone dies from AIDS, then we won’t have to worry about abstaining from sex. Which brings us to the poster child for world overpopulation...

Octuplet mom Nadya Suleman takes two babies home. Six still in hospital apply for psychotherapy, claiming abandonment issues.

Okay, I made up that second part, but hey lady, what do you think this is? Do you have them on some sort of layaway plan and you get to take them home as you pay them off? Oh, by the way, there are no 90-day money back guarantees on litters with more than four offspring.

White House issues apology for remarks the President made on “The Tonight Show with Jay Leno” comparing his bowling ability to the Special Olympics.

D'oh! Okay, the media treated Obama like he was the Messiah, but hey, we the voters know he’s not perfect, and we expect a screw up once in awhile. Obama is human. Needless to say, conservative commentators will be all over this incident today.

Hmm, George W shows class, a comparison of Rush Limbaugh to the Pope, and a fair and balanced report on President Obama. I must be having an off day, because this is not a typical arteejee entry. Thank God it’s Friday!!!!!

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