arteejee

A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Snort Bites – January 2013



OUTGOING SECRETARY OF STATE HILLARY CLINTON TESTIFIES IN CONGRESSIONAL HEARING INVESTIGATING THE BENGHAZI EMBASSY ATTACK

The Congressional Committee Comprised of Old Men Who Think They Know Everything About Everything More Than Anyone Else (trust me there probably really is a Congressional committee with this title) listened to Secretary of State Hillary Clinton accept full responsibility for the Benghazi attack. Many committee members voiced their deep respect for Clinton’s many years of public service (from First Lady to Senate to cabinet position) and acknowledged that she is widely respected around the word. Then everyone revealed the knives they were concealing behind their backs and chucked them at the person they just completed praising to the high heavens.

Just another day inside the Beltway, America!

Foremost among Clinton’s praisers/backstabbers was Senator John McCain (who was having a busy week; see below), who stated that he found her response “unsatisfactory”. WTF?!? The woman accepted full responsibility for what happened on 9/11/12 when four Americans were killed! What more do you want?

I’m guessing that when McCain really said Clinton’s remarks were not satisfactory, he really wanted to say, “Hillary, don’t be a martyr. It’s not you we want! We want Obama! Sure he gave you the consolation prize of a cabinet position when he beat you in the 2008 primaries, but you don’t owe him anything! Tell us he was an incompetent leader who failed you and his country! Give us something so we can deliver his head on a platter to the American people!”

However, Clinton took the high road, proving once again why she deserves more respect than most people in this country have accorded her since the 1990s. She may be leaving the President’s cabinet, but it’s no secret: she 
will be back!

Meanwhile, on another part of Capitol Hill….

GEORGIA SENATOR SAXBY CHAMBLISS DECIDES NOT TO RUN FOR RE-ELECTION IN 2014

The two term Senator cited his disgust with Congressional partisanship as his reason for retiring. Really, Senator? I’m sure you had nothing to do with setting this partisan tone when, in running against the incumbent Max Cleland 12 years ago, you equated your opponent with being no better than America’s then enemies: Saddam Hussein and Osama bin-Laden. This is the same Max Cleland who sacrificed three (out of four) limbs in service to his country in Vietnam. Even the aforementioned John McCain expressed disgust at your campaign tactics, and that’s saying something!

In light of those campaign tactics, and in light of your unmemorable Senate tenure in the interim, we can only say that your two terms in Congress was two terms too long. Godspeed, Mr. Chambliss, godspeed!

Meanwhile, on another part of Capitol Hill….

SENATORS ANNOUNCE BIPARTISAN SUPPORT OF IMMIGRATION REFORM

Really? My, this was sudden! Wherever did this issue suddenly crop up? It’s not like it’s something that’s been debated, put on the back burner, canned and kicked down the road for the last…oh, let me see, 12-20 years!

Senator John McCain was featured prominently in the announcement that a proposal had been agreed to. This latest proposal allows illegal immigrants a path to citizenship, which McCain has not always been in favor. When he was up for re-election, he came out in favor of strengthening the border patrols and expanding the fence between the US and Mexico. So why the sudden change of heart?

As McCain explained it, his party is losing the Hispanic vote, and Republicans need to make themselves more attractive to this growing demographic. Gee, I would have thought that illegal immigrants should be given a path to citizenship because the immigrants are good workers who contribute a lot to our country in our quest to be competitive in the global markets. I guess helping out people for a wrong reason is better than not helping them at all.
 
PHILADELPHIA MOURNS THE PASSING OF THEIR FAVORITE CHILDHOOD TELEVISION HOST, SALLY STARR

Our Gal Sal passed away early on the morning of January 27. Anyone who grew up in Philly in the 1960s tuned into Starr after school or later, before we went to school. She introduced us to a cartoon sailor with a jones for spinach. Then she would play comedy shorts starring three “gentlemen” (Who came in?) that continue to entertain the masses to this day: The Three Stooges.

Starr’s program was cancelled some 40 years ago, but her fans grew up and always remembered her with fondness. In the intervening years, she would make personal appearances, and, until two years ago, hosted a weekly country music radio program from her home in southern New Jersey. I got the chance to see her at a Stooges convention two years ago in Ft. Washington, Pennsylvania.  She was feeble then, and hard of hearing, but God love her, she was still willing to overcome all that to see her fans, the children she adored all those years ago.

Those children are now middle aged and some are even preparing to retire. We grew older and the times changed. So now she is gone, and another slice of our childhood innocence is gone with her. Still, we have those memories of sitting in front of our televisions, perhaps sitting too close, and hanging on every word she said.  May God bless you, Sally, wherever you are today.

(Thank you for reading! “Love, luck and lollipops” to everyone who watched Our Gal Sal!)

2 Comments:

Blogger Bob said...

Grampa McCain needs a long nap.
He's tired.
And stupid.

January 30, 2013 at 8:25 AM  
Anonymous Janey said...

Thank you, Todd, for that lovely and touching tribute to Sally Starr. She was such a part of our childhood tv viewing; in later years, she would appear at gay and lesbian events in Philly. She loved ALL of her children...

January 30, 2013 at 4:37 PM  

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