arteejee

A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Location: Southeastern, Pennsylvania, United States

Sunday, June 07, 2015

The Monday Morning Blessing



Where: Chez Gunther

When: any and every Monday morning

Warrior Queen arises; sunlight seeps through the curtains and crashes into her eyes.

WQ:  Damn!   It’s Monday!   I hate Mondays!*

A sphere of bright light appears in the room.  A fairy godmother-like creature (think Good Witch Glinda from The Wizard of Oz) steps out of the light which fades and disappears.

Monday Morning Fairy: Oh, Anne Marie, you mustn’t hate this day with such venom. It’s a new day with new opportunities to do good things for all of mankind!

WQ: Eff Mondays!

MMF: Oh dear! Do you kiss your husband with that potty mouth?

WQ: Mondays suck!

MMF: Now, now! We must allow the day to go forward and present itself with all its glorious promise.

WQ: Where’s my Grumpy Cat shirt?

MMF: Oh Anne Marie, maybe Monday should promise to chew you up and spit you out!

WQ: Everything about today sucks! Sucks, sucks, sucks.

MMF: You know, I could arrange for Judy Garland’s house to fall on you!

WQ: You suck!

MMF: No, you suck!

WQ: No, you suck!

MMF: No, you…

Ad nauseum.

*Warrior Queen’s dialogue is derived from actual quotes she has been known to utter at Chez Gunther on any given Monday.

(Thank you for reading. Next time: Warrior Queen and Monday Morning Fairy wrestle in a vat of jello!)

14 Comments:

Blogger Ur-spo said...

Not exactly Ozzie and Harriet, is it.

June 7, 2015 at 9:23 PM  
Blogger Raybeard said...

I an shocked, utterly SHOCKED, to read that such vile vocabulary could spill out of A.M.'s mouth, a lady with such poise and bearing that even a simple "Oh hell!" would sit ill with my image of her. I comfort myself with the notion that you could, of course, have misheard said lady. Yes, that's it. Now I'm feeling better!

June 8, 2015 at 3:03 AM  
Blogger todd gunther said...

Thank you gentlemen for your thoughts.

Ozzie and Harriet? Hell, my humble depiction of domestic tranquility can't even be compared to Soap!

Raybeard, I read your comment to Warrior Queen. Unfortunately I won't be able to print her response lest it melt the server.

June 8, 2015 at 7:07 AM  
Blogger Bob Slatten said...

In a battle between the Monday Morning Fairy and the Warrior Queen, I'm goin' with Warrior Queen!

June 8, 2015 at 9:41 AM  
Blogger Raybeard said...

Hmmmm. Very disturbing. I see that I'll have to relegate my former angelic vision to mere fantasy and have to make a thorough revision to get near the reality - and, believe me, the new picture I am seeing is NOT a pretty one. ;-)

June 8, 2015 at 12:24 PM  
Blogger anne marie in philly said...

only on monday, dear raybeard, only on monday.

June 8, 2015 at 3:39 PM  
Blogger Raybeard said...

Okay, A.M. I'll restore one of the 'stars' I've erased against your name. But only one, mind you!

June 9, 2015 at 9:11 AM  
Blogger Fearsome Beard said...

I do so love Anne Marie.

June 24, 2015 at 12:42 AM  
Anonymous Janey Jello said...

In what flavor of jello will they be wrestling??? :-)

June 27, 2015 at 6:38 AM  
Blogger anne marie in philly said...

and I do loves me some fearsome beard. but you would NOT love me on mondays!

July 3, 2015 at 8:36 PM  
Blogger anne marie in philly said...

@janey jello - lime, darling, lime.

July 3, 2015 at 8:36 PM  
Anonymous Janey Jello said...

Lime is my last favorite -- could we please go with Lemon? :-)

Love and Lisses, Janey Jello

July 8, 2015 at 10:19 PM  
Blogger anne marie in philly said...

@janey jello - NO! NO LEMON JELLO FOR YOU!

July 18, 2015 at 5:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A Grumpy Cat shirt? Gotta get me one of those.

~ Freckles

January 11, 2016 at 9:55 PM  

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