The Monday Morning Blessing
Where: Chez
Gunther
When: any
and every Monday morning
Warrior
Queen arises; sunlight seeps through the curtains and crashes into her eyes.
WQ: Damn!
It’s Monday! I hate Mondays!*
A sphere of
bright light appears in the room. A
fairy godmother-like creature (think Good Witch Glinda from The Wizard of
Oz) steps out of the light which fades and disappears.
Monday
Morning Fairy: Oh, Anne Marie, you mustn’t hate this day with such venom. It’s a new day with new opportunities to do
good things for all of mankind!
WQ: Eff
Mondays!
MMF: Oh
dear! Do you kiss your husband with
that potty mouth?
WQ: Mondays
suck!
MMF: Now, now! We must allow the day to go forward and present itself with all its
glorious promise.
WQ: Where’s
my Grumpy Cat shirt?
MMF: Oh Anne Marie, maybe Monday should promise to
chew you up and spit you out!
WQ: Everything about today sucks! Sucks, sucks, sucks.
MMF: You know, I could arrange for Judy Garland’s
house to fall on you!
WQ: You
suck!
MMF: No, you suck!
WQ: No, you
suck!
MMF: No, you…
Ad nauseum.
*Warrior
Queen’s dialogue is derived from actual quotes she has been known to utter at
Chez Gunther on any given Monday.
(Thank you
for reading. Next time: Warrior Queen
and Monday Morning Fairy wrestle in a vat of jello!)
posted by todd gunther | 6:54 PM
14 Comments:
Not exactly Ozzie and Harriet, is it.
I an shocked, utterly SHOCKED, to read that such vile vocabulary could spill out of A.M.'s mouth, a lady with such poise and bearing that even a simple "Oh hell!" would sit ill with my image of her. I comfort myself with the notion that you could, of course, have misheard said lady. Yes, that's it. Now I'm feeling better!
Thank you gentlemen for your thoughts.
Ozzie and Harriet? Hell, my humble depiction of domestic tranquility can't even be compared to Soap!
Raybeard, I read your comment to Warrior Queen. Unfortunately I won't be able to print her response lest it melt the server.
In a battle between the Monday Morning Fairy and the Warrior Queen, I'm goin' with Warrior Queen!
Hmmmm. Very disturbing. I see that I'll have to relegate my former angelic vision to mere fantasy and have to make a thorough revision to get near the reality - and, believe me, the new picture I am seeing is NOT a pretty one. ;-)
only on monday, dear raybeard, only on monday.
Okay, A.M. I'll restore one of the 'stars' I've erased against your name. But only one, mind you!
I do so love Anne Marie.
In what flavor of jello will they be wrestling??? :-)
and I do loves me some fearsome beard. but you would NOT love me on mondays!
@janey jello - lime, darling, lime.
Lime is my last favorite -- could we please go with Lemon? :-)
Love and Lisses, Janey Jello
@janey jello - NO! NO LEMON JELLO FOR YOU!
A Grumpy Cat shirt? Gotta get me one of those.
~ Freckles
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