A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Location: Southeastern, Pennsylvania, United States

Monday, December 31, 2007

January 1st – Today Does Not Exist; Go Back To Bed!

Today is the first day of the New Year and not much will happen today. This is because most of humanity will spend the better part of the day sleeping off the effects of the night before. By the time we, I mean they, wake up and get their wits about them, the day is shot. We - all right, I will no longer pretend that I am not part of the problem - are awake long enough to have our New Year’s dinner, clean up, and return to bed.

There are many people that do make a good, full rewarding day of January 1st. Honestly, I don’t know what’s wrong with these people. Of course, these are the ones that have to work on this day - the police, the fire department, medical workers, retailing, and any other professions that do not recognize the first day of the year as the first holiday of the year. In some respects, I say God bless these people for sacrificing their time away from their families to protect the public. As for the others, go back to bed.

As for myself, you may wonder what I am doing out of bed writing this entry. After all, I should still be sleeping off the effects of the wonderful party last night at our neighbor’s house. Well, I guess I should 'fess up now.

I am writing this a few days ahead, December 30 actually, to have it ready for Tuesday. This is the way many of these entries are written here at Arteejee Industries. These entries start as a rough draft that I write whenever I find the time or the inspiration.

This draft is then submitted to my senior editor (a.k.a. Anne Marie) for suggestions. I know I’ve got a good entry when I hear her laugh as she reviews it, although sometimes she does laugh at my public school grammar. That’s okay; sometimes I get to make fun of her parochial school math!

A finished draft is then readied for publication, unless of course I want to use italics or boldfaced type, in which case it goes through our special effects department before final publication. I should point out here that this blog is 100% American made! I am proud to say that we at Arteejee Industries do not believe in outsourcing our work. We believe that this despicable practice is wrong, immoral, and detrimental to our domestic economy.*

So, please, read this blog secure in the knowledge that it was written by a well-organized, sober mind and not some monosyllabic ramblings of a soused brain whacked out on cheese, crackers, and California onion dip, not to mention several microbrews. Yes, this blog entry has been carefully prepared for a day that doesn’t exist for many of us. By the time I recover from my New Year’s Eve festivities, I trust that many of you will have already enjoyed this piece. Thank you and Happy New Year to all!

*This entry was spell checked by Ramir


Blogger Sally said...

Uhhh... what? Oh, I mean, good post Todd! I'm totally awake, see?


Last night was fun, wasn't it?

January 1, 2008 at 10:19 PM  

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