A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Location: Southeastern, Pennsylvania, United States

Thursday, February 07, 2008

935 Things We Hate About You

A government report released recently stated that high-ranking members of the Bush administration made false statements about Iraq in the time period between 9/11/2001 and the invasion of Iraq. This is another example of our federal tax dollars at work. Meanwhile, in other news that everyone knew about already, the HMS Titanic sank in 1912 after striking an iceberg, 2 plus 2 equals 4, and cigarettes are very bad for you.

It does my heart good to see the national outcry rising up at this report. The torchlight marches in the city streets, the protests on Pennsylvania Avenue, the calls for impeachment heard in both chambers of Congress, and, of course, the firestorm which has erupted in the media demonstrates that America does have a politically aware and active population. I am certainly relieved that people are finally waking up to the Constitutional abuses perpetuated by the Bush administration.

I’m sorry, but I just noticed a small mistake in that last paragraph. The paragraph should read: I am appalled to see this country treating this report as if it were no big deal. No marches, no protests, no hearings, usual, nobody gives a damn! It’s a wonder that the report’s publication pushed Britney out of the spotlight for a day.

Where is Bob Dole when we need him? At the height of the Clinton impeachment, he expressed shock that Americans were seemingly apathetic towards Clinton’s crime. We could well ask now like he did then, “Where’s the outrage?”

Well, it could be that people realize that whatever we could do now is too little, too late. They will argue that the government has lied to us before and the republic survived. Besides, what’s a little lie between the ruling class and its constituents? Well, one lie would be nothing, but this report counted 935 “little” lies uttered by the Bush administration to justify our invasion. This is nothing to sneeze at!

Unfortunately, there is not much we can do about this situation. The statements were not made under oath; thus no one will be indicted for perjury. It would also be hard to prove that the government knew they were false statements at the time. This is the incredible part: the Bush administration actually, sincerely believed every rotten thing they ever said about Iraq.

We could nit-pick each and every lie that Bush and his people made, but we won’t because we have a life. However, we can devote a few minutes to one of the administration's falsehoods. As an example, there is statement #324: “Saddam Hussein is a very bad man, his feet stink, and he doesn’t love Jesus.”

Okay, this one is so obvious I don’t how we could’ve fallen for it. There have been many stories from Iraq that would support the assertion that Saddam was bad. Also, since he was a Muslim, I think it’s safe to say that he didn’t have to love Jesus to satisfy his beliefs. However, the “stinky feet” clause may be harder to prove. After all he could’ve worn odor eaters when he was alive. Now that he’s dead, who cares?

I can answer that. It turns out that not many people care at all.


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