A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Monday, August 18, 2008

Grandpa McCain and the “Dancing Queen”

Presumptive Republican nominee for President Senator John McCain had to defend his taste in music last week when he admitted in a magazine interview that his favorite song was ABBA’s “Dancing Queen.” McCain was confronted about this fact by Walter Isaacson of the Aspen Institute, who asked him incredulously, “What were you thinking?" I don’t know Mr. Isaacson, but based on this reaction, I can only surmise that perhaps his tastes run towards Air Supply or even Barry Manilow.

I was shocked on several levels at this news. First, I was repulsed by the idea that I might share the same musical tastes as Grandpa McCain. Secondly, I am astounded that of all the things for which McCain could be criticized, he gets called on the carpet for his dubious taste in 1970’s pop music. Issues, people, where are the issues?

I haven’t been to a meeting of “Bad Taste in Music Anonymous,” in a long while, but let me take this opportunity to say that I like ABBA. The music was bouncy and frothy, the lyrics catchy, and the lead singers were — most importantly — drop dead gorgeous. What’s not to love about ABBA?

I must disagree with Grandpa on his favorite song, even though it was their biggest international hit. I don’t like “Dancing Queen” as much as “SOS”, “Mamma Mia”, “Does Your Mother Know,” “I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do” and “The Winner Takes It All”. I have other favorites, but you get the idea.

The story also put a distressing visual in my head, and please forgive me when I share it with you. I imagined McCain in a polyester leisure suit and clog high heels that most guys wore in the 1970’s, getting down with the likes of Steve Rubell at Studio 54. Shudder! This image alone should rate a 9.5 on our nausea scale; one being mild light-headed dizziness up to 10 for full-fledged technicolor yawn, or bowing to the porcelain god, etc.

McCain and ABBA...who would have thought of such a combination? Actually, this sounds like one of those smoking gun video tapes that political opponents might use against him. I can see the footage now: McCain and ABBA meeting in one of those sleazy motels. The audio would naturally be garbled, but we could make out enough of it to recognize this double-entendre laden exchange:

McCain: “I support offshore DRILLING!”

ABBA: “Ooo, ooo.”

Stop! Stop! I can’t bear to see Frieda and Agnetha sully themselves with this old man. I will leave it for the likes of to find such a tape. In the meantime...can we get back to the issues?


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