A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Location: Southeastern, Pennsylvania, United States

Friday, September 19, 2008

Short Notes – September 2008

Knowing Moe (and Larry and Curly and Shemp, for that matter)

A recent article in a Three Stooges fan magazine held startling information from a Zogby poll. According to a poll taken in 2006, 1123 adults were asked to name the Three Stooges, and then asked to name the three branches of government. The results: 73% of the respondents correctly identified the Three Stooges, whereas only 42% could name the three branches of government. I found these results to be absolutely shocking!

Imagine, with all the years that the Three Stooges have been a staple of afternoon television, that an incredible 27% of the adult population do not know the names of Moe, Larry, Curly, and Shemp. Who are these morons? Where do these knuckleheads live? In a cave? I’ll bet this is the same percentage of residents of Galveston, Texas who ignored government warnings to evacuate with Hurricane Ike bearing down on them and are now crying out to be rescued. These could be the same people who believe that the American economy is “fundamentally” sound. Wait a minute! Hasn’t President Bush’s approval rating been hovering around 27% for over a year now? Hmmm...I tell you, coincidences like this really make you think.

FYI: the three branches of the federal government are George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, and Karl Rove (ret.)

Tigers 2, Germans 0

A recent news item recounted how a pair of elderly German tourists were traveling through a safari park in Spain, when they got out of their vehicles to get a closer look at the tigers in the reserve. This is against park regulations, but it did fit in nicely with the tigers plans for dinner. Well, we can all imagine what happened next. Suffice to say score two for the tigers.

It's news stories like this that compels me to say that stupidity is not a common trait with the natives of my ancestral homeland. Although some people will disagree (and I count my wife as one of the naysayers), the German people are on the whole intelligent and have made many significant contributions to the world. Having stated that, though, I’m hard pressed to think of any of them at the moment.

No, no, perfecting genocide to an exact science is not what I had in mind. I’m thinking of good contributions to the world. Things festivals...and beer gardens. Beer festivals in beer gardens is another contribution...along with, um, bratwurst served at the beer festivals in the beer gardens. There, I’ve thought of three contributions that the German people have made to the world. I know there are others, but I’ll have to give this topic more thought. In any event, my point is that we shouldn’t base our opinions about an entire nation solely on the actions of two stupid, old people. Now that I think about it, I wonder if this couple could have named the Three Stooges.

Chubby Checker and The Twist

Billboard magazine has recently determined that Chubby Checker's recording of “The Twist” is the single most popular No. 1 song in the last half century. Checker’s version made the charts twice, in 1960 and again in 1962. The singer was delighted upon hearing this news, and claimed that this record is as important to history as the invention of the telephone.

All I have to say is, “Thank you very bloody much, Billboard!” Checker has been whining for years about how great his song was, and how he has never been given due credit in music history. Now, with your news, there will be no living with the man. If we ever feel the need to have a celebrity’s ego boosted, we will be sure to call on you again. Thanks a lot, Billboard!


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