A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Thursday, March 29, 2012

Snort Notes – March 2012


Various media outlets — including the decidedly liberal Huffington Post — have observed that Obamacare is on the brink of destruction. Based on the withering questioning from the conservative side of the court towards attorneys defending the law, pundits are trying their best to predict how each justice will vote on the lawsuit brought by 26 states and a business lobbying group. Reports have focused on the tension between the attorneys and the bench, although rumors that Justice Scalia was seen frothing at the mouth have been unsubstantiated.

This subject will come up again before the justices render their verdict. For now, let’s contemplate one possible scenario if the mandate for every American to have health insurance is struck down. Currently, not everyone in the country has health insurance. Those who have it are able to have payments for their health care costs provided for them. Those who don’t have health insurance are not able to fully pay their bills when a health issue arises. The additional costs they incur are shifted by the providers to the other people who have insurance. Somehow conservatives think this unjust situation is fair, or at the very least, more fair than having everyone invest in the insurance pool so that all pay and share equally in the costs of health care.

So, what might happen if all Americans aren’t required to share this cost? Obviously, those without health insurance will be seen as getting a free pass and freeload off those who are investing in health care. Those with insurance may realize, “Hey, if they can get health care for nothing, then why the hell am I paying premiums, deductibles, co-pays and coinsurance? Eff it! I’ll drop my coverage now! And if I get sick tomorrow, so what? Isn’t that why God gave us Medicaid?”

This debate will be continued...


Santorum made news this week when he responded to a reporter’s question about his comments that fellow hopeful Mitt Romney was unsuited to square off against Obama when it came to the issue of health care reform. At first, Santorum denied the comment, and when the reporter pressed the issue with proof that Santorum did make the comment, the candidate lashed out. News of the incident delighted other conservative leaders, particularly Sarah Palin.

On the campaign trail, Santorum has repeatedly questioned Romney’s conservatism on the subject of health care reform. At this particular campaign stop in Wisconsin, Santorum called Romney “the worst Republican in the country to put up against Barack Obama”. He could have added “...when it comes to health care reform”, but he didn’t. Apparently, he now believes that everyone knows when he is criticizing Romney as the “the worst Republican”, he is actually limiting his criticism in the context of health care reform. Anyone quoting him as he actually said it is taking his words out of context.

Actually, Rick, we don’t have this understanding of your campaign shenanigans. We only know what you say by the ACTUAL words that you say. I say this based on the video of the event. Granted, I watched the video with my “liberal” eyes and ears, but they’re the only eyes and ears I have. It does not appear that the New York Times reporter took your words out of context at all.

Regardless, the incident makes me wonder how a “President” Santorum might handle a similar line of questioning when he is behind the podium in the White House press room. Would he keep his cool? Or would he revert back to a persona more in keeping with his native son status of the Old Dominion? I could very easily see him saying — and, oh yes, since I’m a liberal I am freely misquoting him here: “Sir, I perceive that you’re a Northern liberal who is trying my patience! Karen! Fetch my horsewhip so I can teach this Yankee a thing or two about Southern manners!”

Actually the reporter is lucky he got away with only a tongue lashing.


Pundits have been poring through Specter’s memoirs and extracting the most sensationalistic items. It appears that the seemingly mild-mannered octogenarian who built a career of being a moderate consensus building politician has a ribald side. How ribald? How about describing Democratic Senate icon Ted Kennedy as a “walrus” when Kennedy shared a whirlpool in the Senate gym? (p. 40) Or quoting a conservative Republican congressman telling an off-color joke about an Arkansas traveling salesman and his reaction to a wasp sting? (pp 68-69) Or observing Sarah Palin’s charms as they sat “knee-to-knee” on a cramped bus? (p. 156)

On the subject of Palin in this incident, Specter wrote that she “radiated sensuality”. Then: “Her skirt rode up above her knee — not exactly short, but close”. Whoa, Senator! Down, Arlen, down! There must have been steam rising from his keyboard when he recorded this incident! Besides, I SAW HER FIRST!

Although rumors that the book contains a passage wherein a naked Specter, while waiting for a massage in the Senate gym, grabbed his crotch and proclaimed “I got your magic bullet here!” are unsubstantiated. Okay, I admit it: I just made that up. Still, would it surprise you if that story were true?

None of this is in keeping with Specter’s known character. This is a guy who would come to a Philadelphia Phillies game in a suit and tie, and I only know that because I actually saw him at a game in a suit and tie. Okay, granted I saw him with my pair of “liberal” eyes, but that’s beside the point.

Obviously Specter has a book to sell, and if the quotes raise a few eyebrows, then what the hell? He can shrug off criticism because he doesn’t have to run for public office anymore, and most people will chalk it up to the musings of a very old man who has lost his sense of what is proper and what isn’t.

Whatever! It works for me!

(Thank you for reading. Darkness falls/neighborhood watch warns/we are innocent/our hoodies keep our heads warm.)


Anonymous Janey said...

Dear RTG,

Your repeated declarations of sexual attraction to Sarah Palin are causing me to question your eyesight, your sanity, and your judgement.

Annemarie, please bitchslap Todd as needed!

Love Always,

March 29, 2012 at 6:42 PM  

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