A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Location: Southeastern, Pennsylvania, United States

Sunday, March 30, 2014

Snort Bites- March 2014


Let’s get this out of the way now. I know many of you have been wondering about our involvement in a certain issue. I realize you may have wondered what did I know and when did I know it?

Well, rest assured, we have taken every step to research and investigate my actions. This included intense questioning of myself (by myself), and interrogation of my spouse and our cat, Nyla. If I do say so myself, the inquiry was very rough; I nearly cracked under the pressure.

However we know now the results of our investigation and I must say it has reached a very satisfactory conclusion. I can now say with 100% certainty that I - and no one else here at arteejee - had anything to do with the closure of the George Washington Bridge in Ft. Lee, NJ last September.

I can just imagine how relieved you all are to get this news. Now we can all move on…


Phelps, who led his family congregation on a long string of protests at military funerals as a pretext to denounce and vilify the gay community, succumbed on March 19. It is believed that he died from natural causes, but many people who felt his anger and hatred over the years may agree that his passing seemed like a good idea at the time. (And that is the extent of my cheap shot humor on this subject!) 

The news of Phelps death was accompanied by surprising reports that he had been excommunicated from his own church in August 2013. The church itself would not confirm this report, or a suspected reason that Phelps had softened his views prior to his ouster. If Phelps saw the light and worked to mend the error of his loathsome ways in his final year, it will be immaterial to many people. Any possible movement towards his own personal salvation will be viewed as too little, too late.

I will certainly never praise Phelps’ work, but I’m not going to dance on his 
grave either. Our reaction to his death is our chance to show his congregation and his followers the true meaning of Christianity. You know…that set of beliefs predicated on such virtues as redemption, salvation and forgiveness?  You know, as in “turn-the- other-cheek” forgiveness?

We could celebrate Phelps' passing with high fives and champagne toasts, but ultimately the hatred we would be expressing would be no different than the hatred that destroyed Phelps. Please, don’t take my word for it. Instead, consider the words of one who presumably felt the sting of the Westboro congregation’s actions over the years. Actor George Takei did an eloquent assessment of Phelps on his Facebook page:

“He was a tormented soul who tormented so many. Hate never wins out in the end. It instead always goes to its lonely, dusty end.”


(Thank you for reading. Last one on the George Washington Bridge is a rotten egg.)


Blogger Ur-spo said...

The Poem Ozymandias come to mind.

April 4, 2014 at 1:46 AM  
Blogger todd gunther said...

Hi Spo! Hmmm,yes. Now there's a throwback to my sixth grade English class. Warrior Queen feigned ignorance ("Ozy who?") we googled it and I read it to her. Thanks again for bringing real class to my blog!

April 6, 2014 at 6:31 PM  

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