A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Location: Southeastern, Pennsylvania, United States

Monday, December 01, 2014

Kerfuffled on a Long Weekend

The American holiday devoted to gluttony (truth be told) of Thanksgiving has come and gone for another year. This year, the national day of capitalistic greed (aka Black Friday) spilled over into Thursday, depriving millions of retail workers of a full day off with their families. The result was this year Black Friday sales on the actual day of Friday were down, yet Black Friday sales on the day before the actual day of Friday was up 24%. Go figure!

So how long until Walmart and their fellow travelers convince Congress that this national day of thanks is a nuisance and should be done away with so we can all go to our nearest mall of worship and bow down to the craven deities of crass materialism instead of eating and counting our blessings?

For those of us who forsook the temptation to venture out on Thanksgiving night for the great beginning of the season deals, who could not tear ourselves away from the latest romcom on the Hallmark Channel, The Thanksgiving House, oh, I mean the Eagles-Cowboys game…congratulations for living the true meaning of Thanksgiving.

For those of you who rushed out to the malls: for shame! A pox on all your houses, may your children’s toys break by mid-afternoon on Christmas Day, may your X-boxes fizzle and fry, and may your spouses express bitter disappointment at the four slot toasters they unwrapped on Christmas morning.

For the record, Warrior Queen and I ventured to my brother’s house for the day. Little brother broke Mom out of the nursing home for the occasion, and most of us enjoyed the wonderful meal of turkey, ham, stuffing, baked corn, green bean casserole, and an assortment of pies. Mom stayed on her side of the house and Warrior Queen chose to keep my mom company while she dined on a dinner roll, Greek yogurt,  and whatever was still edible in Mom’s freezer (e.g., ice cream bars), which wasn’t much because Mom has been in the home since July and there’s been no turnover of food on her side of the house during that time.

Nothing says Thanksgiving like freezer burned corn dogs! Hm-mmm!  Warrior Queen tossed that into the garbage.

Don’t worry, this story has a happy ending, but this reminds me. I need to insert an aside here.

Dear Dr. Spo,

I have a problem. I have a 60 year old child who refuses to eat her vegetables and she insists on wearing her horned Viking helmet at the dinner table. Please advise!

Kerfuffled in East Norriton

Anyway, while the Thanksgiving meal upstate was wonderful and the trip itself satisfied my requirement to spend time with loved ones, it did not fulfill my nostalgia for the Thanksgiving meals I had while growing up in Philly. That was rectified on Sunday.

We had the traditional dinner: turkey and stuffing, candied yams, jellied cranberry sauce, and dinner rolls all served on Currier and Ives dinnerware (Olde Curiosity Shoppe pattern). Growing up, we started our meal with a small glass of tomato juice, and I made a special trip to the store - on Sunday, mind you, and not Black Friday - to procure this special item. The main course was a turkey that I got for free, which by free I mean I spent $400 on other items within a specified time period to be eligible to take home the turkey at no cost. Or I could have spent my usual grocery budget during that same time period and bought the damn thing for $12.83! A pox on these capitalist tricks!

Warrior Queen dined on freezer burned corn dogs…no no, just kidding. With a nod to accommodating the love of my life, I bought a family size tray of lasagna for her (and my) enjoyment. This was a deviation from my nostalgic meal to 1960s Philadelphia, but hey, I like Italian food anytime. 

Despite her aversion to turkey on Thanksgiving Day, she did taste the turkey I baked prior to it being served on our dinner table. She claimed at the time that she just needs a taste and not a full portion. No problem dear, I’ll keep your secret as long as you keep mine about watching the Hallmark Channel.

(Thank you for reading! Hey, how about them Eagles! First place, baby!   Woo-hoooooo!)


Blogger Mistress Maddie said...

Can I get a amen up in here for this post!!!!!! I couldn't agree more about your commentary here about retail being open on Thanksgiving, or any holiday. Would it kill anybody to stay with family or friends and just eat, hang out, and talk and have a good time????? I swear everything is open now just about every holiday, and on Sundays. It is any wonder families don't know how to interact anymore?

December 1, 2014 at 10:35 PM  
Blogger Ur-spo said...

The lady with the helmet sounds most sensible.
Just please don't feed her buns and things.

December 2, 2014 at 11:34 PM  
Blogger todd gunther said...

Thank you Mistress Maddie. We can only hope that people will get tired of this new shopping day in a few years...aww, who am I kidding?

Thank you, Ur-Spo. I knew I could depend on you to be forthright, professional and totally unbiased...oh, you would have to take her side, wouldn't you? :)

December 3, 2014 at 8:21 PM  
Blogger Harpers Keeper said...

I'm proud there was no shopping in my Thanksgiving and the only "Black Friday" excursion was to a local used book store.

Walmart and their ilk will never seek and end to the Thanksgiving holiday. They love that so many customers have a day off so they can come shop.

December 4, 2014 at 8:45 PM  
Blogger Travel said...

Gluttony and overspending - things to avoid.
Feed the horned child, what ever she wants.

December 5, 2014 at 6:38 PM  
Blogger anne marie in philly said...

@travel - damn str8 (or gay)!

December 6, 2014 at 1:37 PM  
Blogger todd gunther said...

Thank you, Harper's Keeper. Two days of non-retailing should become a new tradition.

Thank you Travel. Credit cards are not our friends when it comes to gluttony. And the Horned Child gets whatever she wants when she wants it, without any encouragement from me.

December 9, 2014 at 7:09 AM  

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