A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Location: Southeastern, Pennsylvania, United States

Friday, December 25, 2015

Holiday Greetings from Tropical Southeastern Pennsylvania

Here’s hoping everyone has had a Merry Christmas and/or otherwise Happy Holiday so far.

This reminds me to post this message: Note to my fellow Christians who get besides themselves when people wish them Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas. It is fine if you believe that the only holiday that matters is Christmas, and that you believe it is commemorating the birth of a spiritual leader who is the Son of God. That said, the first point is xenophobic, and the second point (like it or not) is a subject of debate for many others on this planet.

I believe that Jesus would not be offended if I wished Him Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas or, more appropriately, Happy Birthday. Or, even more appropriate for His beliefs, Happy Hanukkah.

So back on point, season’s greetings from a section of the world which should be experiencing temperatures in the 40s (F) and perhaps a dusting of frozen precipitation on the ground in keeping with the Currier and Ives/Irving Berlin romanticism of the Yuletide time of year. Instead, we have temperatures in the 70s, weeds poking up through the mulch in our garden, and friends reporting that flowers are sprouting three months early. Winter has just begun, according to the calendar, and so far it is a bust!

So the weather is not what it should be, but otherwise we’ve had a good day. Warrior Queen and I both slept in, leisurely pursued our usual morning routine of coffee sipping and newspaper reading, finally got around to the business of exchanging gifts at 10a, then had our Christmas feast at a local Chinese buffet. I was sorely tempted to greet my fellow diners with a lusty yell, “Yo! Hands off the peel-n-eat shrimp! They’re mine, bitches!” but I refrained. After all, this would made a mockery of the iconic sentiment assigned to this day, peace on earth, good will to men (and women). And the wonderful staff kept the shrimp piled high for everyone’s pleasure, so I had no need to fear that my appetite would not be satisfied.

The only glitch this holiday concerned a gift for our basement cat, Oreo. Since we brought her home, she has preferred to stay in our basement, and she enjoys relaxing in the window sill of the basement window well. This sill is about 62” from the floor, but Oreo has always been able to access it with a single jump from the couch (31” high), and bounce her hind feet off of the framed Mystery Science Theatre 3000: The Movie poster which is hanging on the way half way between the top of the couch and the window sill. To wit:

Recently, I noticed that Oreo has difficulty jumping up to her sill. This could be due to her growing older and a possible (unconfirmed) arthritic condition in her hind quarters. I thought that a cat tree/condo placed near the sill would aid her to gradually ascend the wall to her favorite spot. With this solution in mind, I traveled to the nearest cat supply emporium and purchased a cat tree/condo with two levels (35” and 51”) which should give her a more sporting chance to reach her rest area.

The first challenge was transporting the new piece of furniture home as it hung half-way beyond the back of my Ford Focus trunk. I drove slowly lest it fall out on one of several hills between home and the big box pet store. Fortunately, there was no mishap and I was able to walk it into our sun porch. The next challenge was to walk/drag the furniture from the porch to the basement without the other two cats (Nyla and Gigi) seeing it and thinking that Santa Cat had brought it for their exclusive use. As the photos below attest, I failed this challenge miserably.

Long story short, the upstairs cats discovered the cat tree and marked it for their personal use, basement cat be damned! This is the first time I have ever actually witnessed siblings stealing a gift from their sister. No matter. A second cat tree has been ordered via the Internet, and, best of all, it will come in pieces which will make its relocation to the basement easier to manage. It should be here by January 5, which as I recollect is the official end of the happy holiday season.

So, until then, Happy Holidays to all. You too, Jesus!

(Thank you for reading! And hey, let’s be nice to each other, okay?)


Blogger Ur-spo said...

Happy Christmas to you and AM and the cats!

December 25, 2015 at 9:03 PM  
Blogger Raybeard said...

Happy hols, RTG - as well as to all there - already wished through other channels, but if they're doubled up, so what? Can't have too much of a good thing, right? Enjoy what's still to come.

December 26, 2015 at 4:47 AM  
Blogger todd gunther said...

Thank you Spo! I hope you're enjoying the holidays with your guest.

Thank you Raybeard for your wishes. In the end everyone except Warrior Queen and I will have their own cat trees.

December 26, 2015 at 7:23 AM  
Blogger Travel said...

Happy Boxing Day, glad to hear you had a delightful day.

December 26, 2015 at 7:32 AM  
Anonymous Janey said...

Dear Fellow Cat Lovers RTG and AM/WQ,

Remember the next time you are moving things that I have an SUV!

Thanks for your cheery Christmas call -- it set my good mood for the rest of the day.

My cat got some "Meowi Wowi" catnip (yes, that is its brand name; it is also advertised as being "human grade"...hmmmm....!), so Miss Ivy got a good buzz on after Christmas Eve dinner (which for us was also Chinese, although I made no claim on all the shrimp the way RTG did...) and again on Christmas morn, followed by all her new toys. Ivy went from being abandoned in a crack house in the bad side of Pottstown (yes, there is a good side, it's just nowhere near where I lived...) to living the lush life here in Blue Bell Estates. Santa was good to her!

Off to Aunt Nancy's for an early Christmas dinner and an ample flow of wine; Aunt Nancy appreciated that her Christmas plant gift from me and Mom is one her cats will not eat and barf.

Doesn't everyone have a Christmas that is all about their cats? :-)

Onward to 2016!
Janey, Goddess of December Springtime

December 26, 2015 at 10:49 PM  
Blogger todd gunther said...

Thank you Travel Penguin for your warm holiday wishes.

Thank you Janey, Goddess of December Springtime. Long live the Moonglow! (Don't worry, we'll explain that later!)

December 31, 2015 at 8:13 PM  

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