arteejee

A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Location: Southeastern, Pennsylvania, United States

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Pack It In, Psychotherapists



The demise of the concept and discipline of psychotherapy is at hand. Why do I make such an outrageous statement? 
 
Actually, I question that my statement is no more outrageous than saying that Mexico is sending their worst citizens to our country. More outrageous than questioning a Vietnam veteran’s credibility as a war hero, given that he was captured and tortured by the enemy? More outrageous than the boorish behavior exhibited at a political debate and afterwards casting sour grapes at one of the questioners because the questions were too tough?

See how my outrageous statement can get lost in this shuffle!

We all know who the source of these events is. I won’t name him here; lord knows he gets enough publicity on his own. However, to avoid confusion, we will name him He Who Wears A Badger Toupee. We’ll call him Badger Toupee for short.

Ever since the race for the White House 2016 began (I believe it was January 20th, 2013), there has been a lot of opportunity for responsible political discourse to resolve society’s problems. Instead, we have been treated to a lot of hot air that is, to put it frankly, stupid.

All of the 17,000 Republican candidates vying for the presidency can share in the blame for this phenomenon of political meteorology, but Badger Toupee has been consistently ahead of the pack. Unlike the other political candidates, he has zero political cred, but his supporters are saying that this is his strength. He is the outsider who is shaking up the established status quo of stagnant governance.

I’m all for sending a message to DC that the obstructionist style of governing needs to change, but Badger Toupee is and cannot be the American voters’ final salvation. He topped the polls when he derided Mexicans as thieves and rapists. He didn’t suffer any sag in his popularity when he said Senator John McCain is not a hero. Then, since the first debate last week when he blew back at Fox News anchor Megyn Kelly when he suggested that she possibly succumbed to a female hormonal weakness when she questioned his sexist past, a new crop of polls came out. 

Any sane person would have thought that this, finally, would affect Badger Toupee’s poll numbers. The controversy from the past weekend would surely produce a backlash that would end his political ambitions once and for all, and exile him back to the canyons of Manhattan. Surely this would happen, right?

Nope, Badger Toupee is still topping the polls for favorite Republican candidate. PEOPLE, WHAT ARE YOU THINKING???!!!!

The conclusion is obvious: there is no longer a sane person living on this planet, ergo my pronouncement about the future of psychotherapy at the top of the page. 
    
Dear Psychotherapists, you have provided a wonderful service in the name of humanity for many years. You have helped many people overcome their fears, their phobias, their anxieties, and many of us owe you a debt which can never be repaid. But, let’s face it, it’s over. Badger Toupee's continued popularity despite chronic stupidity is undoubtedly a sign of the coming cultural psychological apocalypse.

So where do you go from here? Many of you have earned a comfortable retirement, lounging by a pool somewhere, traveling at your leisure, and doing anything you want to enjoy life in this insane world. Or, if you still feel a need to do something, then perhaps you can take the easier alternative. Instead of trying to cure psychoses, perhaps you should go the other way. You should consider convincing the sane (there can’t be that many left in the world) and those of us who are otherwise undiagnosed to become psychotic.  

Obviously the American electorate, or at least those answering these polls, has gone stark raving mad. Come Election Day 2016, who will notice the difference.

(DISCLAIMER: THE EDITORIAL BOARD OF ARTEEJEE THOROUGHLY REJECTS THE PREMISE OF THIS BLOG ENTRY. THE AUTHOR IS OBVIOUSLY SUFFERING FROM SOME SORT OF HORMONAL URGE SOMEWHERE. PLEASE EXCUSE HIM FROM BLOGGING FOR THE REST OF THE DAY.)

And, oh yes, free guns for everyone! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!

(Thank you for reading. Or, if you insist on continuing to treat the insane American voter, then God bless you.)

4 Comments:

Blogger Ur-spo said...

I am convinced the majority of Americans are barking mad if they are not ignorant.

August 14, 2015 at 10:08 PM  
Blogger Fearsome Beard said...

Evidence that all publicity is good publicity.
Scary ain't it?

August 15, 2015 at 9:09 AM  
Blogger todd gunther said...

Glad to see you're feeling better,Spo! Sigh, yes, your conclusion is inescapable.

Thank you Fearsome Beard. It is scary, and yet a fundamental of advertising.

August 16, 2015 at 7:33 PM  
Blogger Gorilla Bananas said...

I think his toupee is more like a raccoon's than a badger's. Otherwise I am in total agreement.

September 5, 2015 at 2:58 AM  

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