A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Location: Southeastern, Pennsylvania, United States

Sunday, April 14, 2019

Sunday Morning Post (V.1; #12) - Stupid Male Tricks*

Let’s explore a story written up in the local press this past week.  It seems there was this guy who engaged in a ménage-a-trois with his girlfriend and another woman.  When it was over, the man sent his girlfriend home in a taxi. The girlfriend, clearly feeling incensed, set fire to her boyfriend’s house, displacing him, a number of residents at a nearby apartment building, and, presumably, the other woman.

Ultimately, we should consider if the girlfriend over-reacted to what was, arguably, a short-sighted gesture on her boyfriend’s part.   First, we should consider the various facets of the story.  Admittedly, we don’t have much to go on.

The story only detailed that the woman set fire to her beau’s house after they had consensual sex with another woman.  It further explained that the girlfriend said "’she was going through a lot’ and was angry that her boyfriend had her take a cab home while the other woman remained in the home.”

This is all we know.  We don’t know if the three met through social media or the old-fashioned way at a bar.  If at a bar, then was alcohol consumed before a proposal was made to go back to the house, and was more alcohol consumed during the encounter. Also, did the boyfriend not pay or even offer to pay for the taxi? That would have been cold to send someone with whom you have an investment in intimacy home without the proper fare.  Even colder still: telling your girlfriend to find her own way home and not bother to call for a ride at all.

The girlfriend admitted to having some issues.  We don’t know if these issues have been going on for a while and this incident just pushed her over the edge or if she was totally caught off guard by her boyfriend’s request to hit the road.  In any event we feel compelled to tell this woman, “You got issues?  Get in line! Take a number!”   We’ve all got issues.

Then there’s the boyfriend.  Clearly, he did violate the protocol of being a good boyfriend: sending the long-term girlfriend home and allowing the new arrival in his life to stay for only he knows what.  Okay, we do know what we believe what the boyfriend was planning to do once his girlfriend left, but admittedly this is pure speculation on our part.  In the court of public opinion this can be known as the “Wink, wink, nudge, nudge” defense.

We can only theorize that the boyfriend at this point of the evening, regardless of how many Bud Lites he had consumed, came down with sudden attack of, oh, what’s the French term for it…oh, yes, “dick for brains.”  This is that too common condition when the male brain is dislodged from its honored place in the skull and somehow relocates in the genital area of the body.   Let’s be honest, guys, we’ve all had this condition at one time or another.

Which brings us to the third component of this incident:  the other woman.  As dear old Dad might have said, “It takes two to tangle, but three to make hot whoopee.”  Just for the record my Dad never said this; I was paraphrasing.

Anyway, we don’t know what the other woman was thinking when the intimate encounter happened and she was allowed to stay while the girlfriend was sent packing. What did the boyfriend tell her?  “Oh, my girlfriend is tired.  She’s going home, but you can stay here for the night”, or some story to that effect.  Did she not realize or care that a fellow member of the sisterhood was being inconvenienced?   Did she not become concerned for the girlfriend’s welfare, or am I over-estimating the bonds which bind the sisterhood?  Or was she too drunk to care?

In any event, I can only guess that she could have figured it all out once she smelled smoke before she and the boyfriend had to skedaddle out of a home burning down around them. 
A burning house. Now there’s a metaphor laden with double entendres.  Kind of like the current American debate over immigration…


A special shout-out today for making two new friends yesterday: Mistress Maddie and Mike. I had a wonderful time and no taxis had to be called.  We must get together again soon.

*Or “What Did I Do to Piss You Off This Time, Baaaaaaay-bee?”

(Thank you for reading.  With apologies to The Blues Brothers.)


Blogger Debra She Who Seeks said...

Are the social niceties of this situation not covered in Emily Post's “Etiquette: In Society, In Business, In Politics and At Home”?

April 14, 2019 at 11:18 AM  
Blogger Deedles said...

I have too massive a headache this morning for me to be laughing this hard! One more scenario: Maybe the girlfriend was upset because she would've preferred the other woman to come home with her. It happens.
That must've been some lunch!

April 14, 2019 at 11:35 AM  
Blogger Mistress Maddie said...

Ménage-a-trois can be a sticky situation, pun intended and not intended, he must have had way to many bud lights to send the wrong woman home. Talk about getting burnt. Ok enough of the puns. I too had a lovely time and wish we had more time to see you after your duties. It was a pleasure to meet you tootes.

Anyone who has a Harpo Marx picture looking back at you while on the porcelain throne, you know is good people!!!!

April 14, 2019 at 3:54 PM  
Blogger todd gunther said...

Hi Debra. Doubtful that Emily ever encountered such a situation.

Thank you Deedles. Actually I had thought of this possibility, but I was trying to complete my entry before the morning ended. It was a fabulous lunch, and I was only there for the last hour!

Thank you Mistress,hoping we can get together again soon.

April 14, 2019 at 8:04 PM  
Blogger Ur-spo said...

Oh the pain
On the other hand it makes for a good George Walker play.

April 21, 2019 at 12:11 PM  

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