arteejee

A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Saturday, March 11, 2006

The Prophecies of SNL

O great Lorne Michaels, Oracle of Rockefeller Center, we gather to beseech you to tell us what next have you to predict?

Long ago you parodied a razor commercial with a revolutionary three blades to make our morning shave smoother. The razor revolution was a myth at the time, and you even told us that we would believe its value only because we would believe anything Madison Avenue told us to believe. But, lo, a razor with five blades was introduced during a Super Bowl commercial this year. Truly it is a miracle that you predicted this product coming!

Another long ago skit on your show had Eddie Murphy change his skin color to white with the aid of makeup. His goal was to experience how white people treated each other. We laughed, we pointed our fingers, and we rejoiced at this marvelous work of fiction. But now, even this is coming true with a new reality show that has entire families switching black to white, and white to black premiering this week. Again, you predicted this wonderful variation of the "walk-in-my-shoes-for-awhile" philosophy coming to us!

What next, O wise one?

Infomercials on Fox for a kitchen appliance that makes great nutritional shakes out of large mouth bass?

A chain of steakhouses with the freshest meat killed by the consumer themselves?

Delicatessen owners throwing away their old slicers in favor of the samurai sword?

A substance that will taste great on our pies and give our kitchen floors a great shine at the same time?

Federal funding for the preservation and maintenance of our uvulas?

Predatory fish trained to walk on the land and perform menial tasks like deliveries?

Absolute morons elected to high office? (Wait! That already came to pass years ago. Forget about this one.)

O wise one, we await more of your great predictions coming true!

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was thinking the same thing too about razor commercial and the skit with Eddie Murphy as a white guy. There is one more also, although not a ‘land shark’ - I did catch on Animal Planet a family who has a pet penguin that goes to a fish market to get fish for the family every day, walks about 2 blocks, and they give him a fish to put in his backpack and he walks it back home. How's that for special delivery?

Damon

March 13, 2006 at 7:48 PM  

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