Meanwhile, at the Liberal Media Anonymous Therapy Session...
Me: “Hi, I'm Todd.”
Leader and Group: “Hi, Todd.”
Me: “As you know, I write a blog, and most of my entries recently have not been too kind towards the Bush regime, I mean administration. I know I should take responsibility for my own actions, but I grew up trusting Walter Cronkite, you see. He was the kindly grandfather that I never had. Well, he's not as prominent as he used to be, but I still feel his influence. I mean, I see it in the newspapers and hear it on the radio.
“For example, I can't understand why the Bush administration has handed over the security of our seaports to a company based in the United Arab Emirates. I mean, come on! Have they cut government spending so much that they have to outsource our security? Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful that the administration didn't round up all the American Muslims and put them in concentration camps after 9/11, but on the other hand, isn't this taking equal opportunity too far?”
Leader: “Todd, remember our mantra, Small government is good! Small government is good! Come on, say it with me. Small government is good!"
Me: “Okay, small government is good, small government is...no, no, it isn't. Didn't you people learn anything after Katrina?”
Leader: “Todd?”
Me: “The Bush tax cuts have made the federal government ineffectual and irrelevant!”
Group: (collective gasp)
Leader: “Mr. Gunther?”
Me: “Hey, I have a suggestion for Homeland Security. Remember when Reagan fired all those air traffic controllers? There must be a few empty slots left to fill, right? Why don't we hire Al-Qaida members as air traffic controllers? Yeah, that should make flying very interesting! They could work for minimum wage and all the virgins they could..."
Leader: “Okay, Mr. Gunther! It appears that you need a one-on-one session with one of our counselors. Let me see who's available...Brit Hume...Bill O'Reilly...ah! Here's one! Orderlies, take Mr. Gunther to the right wing, room A. We'll send Cal Thomas in to talk to him.”
Me: "Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"
Fortunately, my alarm went off and my nightmare was over...for now...
Leader and Group: “Hi, Todd.”
Me: “As you know, I write a blog, and most of my entries recently have not been too kind towards the Bush regime, I mean administration. I know I should take responsibility for my own actions, but I grew up trusting Walter Cronkite, you see. He was the kindly grandfather that I never had. Well, he's not as prominent as he used to be, but I still feel his influence. I mean, I see it in the newspapers and hear it on the radio.
“For example, I can't understand why the Bush administration has handed over the security of our seaports to a company based in the United Arab Emirates. I mean, come on! Have they cut government spending so much that they have to outsource our security? Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful that the administration didn't round up all the American Muslims and put them in concentration camps after 9/11, but on the other hand, isn't this taking equal opportunity too far?”
Leader: “Todd, remember our mantra, Small government is good! Small government is good! Come on, say it with me. Small government is good!"
Me: “Okay, small government is good, small government is...no, no, it isn't. Didn't you people learn anything after Katrina?”
Leader: “Todd?”
Me: “The Bush tax cuts have made the federal government ineffectual and irrelevant!”
Group: (collective gasp)
Leader: “Mr. Gunther?”
Me: “Hey, I have a suggestion for Homeland Security. Remember when Reagan fired all those air traffic controllers? There must be a few empty slots left to fill, right? Why don't we hire Al-Qaida members as air traffic controllers? Yeah, that should make flying very interesting! They could work for minimum wage and all the virgins they could..."
Leader: “Okay, Mr. Gunther! It appears that you need a one-on-one session with one of our counselors. Let me see who's available...Brit Hume...Bill O'Reilly...ah! Here's one! Orderlies, take Mr. Gunther to the right wing, room A. We'll send Cal Thomas in to talk to him.”
Me: "Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"
Fortunately, my alarm went off and my nightmare was over...for now...
posted by todd gunther | 7:45 PM
1 Comments:
Unfortunately we won't be waking up from this nightmare for quite a long time. Oy.
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