The Uncontrollable Blog

I was sitting at the computer a few days ago, thinking of new ways to disparage the Bush administration, when my wife Anne Marie entered.

AM: What is that?

Me: What?

AM: That! That enormous blobby creature in the living room.

Me: Oh, that. It’s the blog entry I’m working on. Why?

AM: It's huge! It's about to break through the ceiling! What are you writing about that is making it so big?

Me: The same-sex marriage controversy. There are so many ideas and angles to be explored. I keep thinking of new issues before I can finish my first thought.

AM: (expletive deleted) It’s got ten arms and eight...um, are those legs?

Me: Uh, I think so, but you may want to stay clear of them if they start oozing.

AM: Okay, you need to cut this back. Edit it down. Just get your main thoughts across and give a few details of each one. You don’t have to include every single thought.

Me: But this is my blog, my creation. It’s like my own child. I can’t cut it back.

AM: It’s tormenting Meredith!

Me: Meredith will survive. She can run and hide from it if she chooses. Besides, if I may remind you, Meredith tried to torch all of my Abba albums a few weeks ago. It's not that I don’t love her, but I haven’t fully forgiven her yet.

AM: It’s about to bust through the living room windows. Cut it back!

Me: No! My child...

AM: Your child just devoured every bottle of Heinz ketchup we had.

Me: WHAT!?! This beast dies NOW!

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