More “There Is No Truth to the Rumor”

Now it's time for another installment of There is no truth to the rumor that...

There is no truth to the rumor that...the White House visit by the Philadelphia Phillies was really cancelled because the newest resident of the White House, a Portuguese water dog by the name of Bo, is a New York Mets fan.

There is no truth to the rumor that...the Taliban will stage their own version of William Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet with a hilarious twist ending in which the star crossed lovers are executed by a firing squad.

There is no truth to the rumor that...the Palin and Johnston families will be featured in the next big MTV reality series Real World: Wasilla!

There is no truth to the rumor that...the Taliban will stage their version of Bent with a surprise twist ending in which the entire cast is executed by a firing squad.

There is no truth to the rumor that...Octomom will build a reality television show around her newest litter. Oh, wait! That is true! Sorry...these rumors can be very tricky sometimes.

There is no truth to the rumor that...the Taliban will stage a cabaret version of La Cage Aux Folles on a Somalian pirate ship, and maybe a firing squad will be involved...or maybe not.

There is no truth to the rumor that...the liberal press has photographic evidence of President Obama walking on the waters of the Potomac. Sorry, but stay tuned.

There is no truth to the rumor that...the Taliban will (insert verb) the (insert an icon of decadent Western culture here) with a (insert adjective) ending in which (insert noun or nouns) will (insert another verb) due to intolerance for other cultures thinly disguised as religious zealotry.

There is no truth to the rumor that...Fox and Friends will demonstrate “tea bagging” on an upcoming episode. After all, it is the latest rage among conservative Republicans!

That’s all the rumors fit to print for now...