Surviving Monk

Monk, the hit television series about an obsessive–compulsive detective, is ending its run this week. Today I will offer my suggestions on getting through this difficult time.

1. Shout, “Howie, your fingernails are dirty!” at the television screen while watching “Deal or No Deal.”*

2. Cancel your cable, because now there is no reason to watch television ever again.

3. Stare at the blank television screen until you starve to death, your loved ones leave you, or you need to get up to get a beer.

4. Erect a shrine in your home in Monk’s honor. Include statues of all the characters: Adrian Monk, Natalie, Sharona, Crow T. Robot, Tom Servo...oh, sorry! I’m having a Mystery Science Theater 3000 flashback.

5. Lock yourself in your room and scream “Why me?” over and over until you starve to death, your loved ones leave you, or you need to get up to get a beer.

6. Contemplate the show’s place in the universe, the cosmos, and the grand scheme of things. Know that all good things must come to an end and this show was a good thing. Remember the show fondly, but keep in mind that it is also time for everyone - cast, crew and fans — to move on to bigger and better things.

7. Yeah, right...good luck with #6!

8. Drink heavily and wallow in misery until you starve to death, your loved ones leave you, or you need to get up to get another beer.

9. Read a book, listen to your favorite music, volunteer your time for a non-profit, walk on the beach...in short, live your life to its fullest. After all, it was just a show.

*Okay, I’ll explain this one. Game show host Howie Mandel recently admitted to being obsessive-compulsive in his newly released memoir.

(Thank you for reading. Thank you Tony Shaloub and everyone on Monk for a wonderful run!)