arteejee

A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Snort Notes – May 2010

TALK SHOW HOST JAY LENO COHOSTS WHITE HOUSE CORRESPONDENTS DINNER WITH PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA. BOTH SHINE IN THEIR RESPECTIVE MONOLOGUES

The President’s appearance at the dinner got much coverage in the news media and, of course, YouTube. One of his more interesting jokes referred to his low approval ratings during his first year in office. He went on to explain that his approval ratings in “the country of his birth are very high”, a reference to the birthers assertion that he was born in Kenya. Surprisingly, I haven’t heard one birther explode on the Internet, “Ah-ha! Now he admits he wasn’t born here!”

Now let’s calm down! The President was making light of a subject which is obviously hitting him in a very sensitive area. It was a joke, okay! Nothing more than a line intended to get a laugh.

JAZZ SINGING LEGEND LENA HORNE DIES AT THE AGE OF 92

This is one of those times when even the term legend is an understatement. Yes, she was very much human, who learned many of life’s hardest lessons along the way of a very long career. Beautiful and wonderfully talented, her rendition of Stormy Weather in one scene from an all-too-brief stay in Hollywood has got to be one of the most memorable performances in Hollywood musical history. She would later feature her signature song in a one woman Broadway show, which won her a Tony award.

Thank you, Ms. Horne, for sharing your fabulous talent with us.

CAPITOL HILL PREPARES TO QUESTION/GRILL/TORTURE OBAMA’S SUPREME COURT NOMINEE ELENA KAGAN

The hearings haven’t started yet and already critics are noting that Kagan doesn’t have any experience on the bench. So? She has a bachelor’s degree in history! Wow! Someone with a bachelor’s degree in history actually has a career that doesn’t involve mastering a deep fryer or the subtle nuances of such phrases as, “Welcome to Wal-Mart! How may I help you?” (Full disclosure: my bachelor’s degree is also in history. Don’t ask...)

A history major would understand that Hawaii was indeed a state at the time that Barack Obama was born there in 1960. Okay? See? It was a joke, as in, “Ha-ha, funny,” as opposed to a joke as in “Bush administration”.

Speaking of the Bush administration...

BP'S ATTEMPT TO CONTAIN OIL SPILL FROM THE DISABLED DEEPWATER HORIZON OIL RIG IN THE GULF OF MEXICO FAILS

The spill promises to become the greatest ecological disaster of all time. The spill could have been contained weeks ago had not BP been granted an exception to a requirement that all oil companies have a disaster plan in place. The exception was given in April 2000 when George W. Bush was still in charge!

So, let’s add up the latest tally of Bush deregulation calamities: largest ecological disaster ever; 29 miners dead in explosion resulting from loopholes in mine regulations; worst response to a natural disaster (Hurricane Katrina); and thousands of homes foreclosed with untold millions of dollars lost in a deregulated banking industry.

God, I don’t miss him at all!

(Thank you for reading! Please insert your own birther joke here!)

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