arteejee

A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Friday, July 09, 2010

Snort Notes – July 2010

This month’s snort notes are totally Lindsay Lohan free! We don’t care if she is drunk or sober or crying her eyes out or her bracelet fell off or her liver popped out and ran off to rehab or she has a nasty word written on her middle finger...we just don’t care about that bitch! She gets way more news copy than she deserves. Meanwhile, more deserving news items might include things like this...

BLISTERING HEAT WAVE BREAKS TEMPERATURE RECORDS AS HEAT INDEX TOPS 100 DEGREES ACROSS THE COUNTRY

On a lighter note, millions of Americans vow to go on a homicidal rampage if anyone says to them either “Hot enough for ya?” or “It’s not the heat! It’s the humidity!”

REPUBLICAN NATIONAL PARTY HEAD MICHAEL STEELE SURVIVES CALLS FOR RESIGNATION IN WAKE OF DISPARAGING COMMENTS AGAINST PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA

Steele insinuated at a party fundraiser in Connecticut that Afghanistan was a war of Obama’s choosing. Critics — Democrats and Republicans — all denounced Steele’s comments as inaccurate and inappropriate. They were inaccurate because Obama inherited the war on terrorism from George W. Bush, and this is not another example of Bush bashing. This is historical fact.

Unfortunately, another part of Steele’s rant had some truth to it. He noted that other invaders of Afghanistan — British and Soviets as two examples — were unsuccessful. Once again, this is not wishful thinking on the part of a political enemy, but historical fact. Steele argued that an Afghanistan land war is “unwinnable”, and honestly, at this time the conflict is presenting a challenge to Obama’s administration.

This doesn’t mean it’s unwinnable. We may prevail yet, but we have to be prepared for the possibility that this war will drag on for a long time. The war just recently became the longest conflict in American history. Considering the fact that this part of the world has seen fighting off and on for thousands of years, and that we were just “invited” to participate by Osama bin-Laden nine years ago, we may as well settle in for the long haul. To paraphrase American naval hero John Paul Jones, “We have just begun to fight.”

As for Steele, well, come January when his job comes up for renewal, he may do well to update his resume.

PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES HAVE A FIRM HOLD ON THIRD PLACE IN THE NATIONAL LEAGUE’S EASTERN DIVISION AT THE HALF-WAY POINT OF THE 2010 MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL SEASON

When we left the intrepid “Fightin’s” last month, they lost their first place berth after a disastrous road trip. Since then, they’ve had another disastrous road trip, a dismal home stand, and several of their leading players going through a revolving door between the playing field and the disabled list. Last month, I half-jokingly suggested that the Phils were a generous bunch who wanted to share first place with the other teams in the division.

All right, boys, the joke has gone on long enough! The current first place team, the Atlanta Braves, is getting nicely settled in. Rumor has it that they want to stay there awhile, perhaps until the end of the season. After the All Star break, I hope you will get serious about returning to the World Series. I don’t care that this is Braves’ manager Bobby Cox’s last season; he’s had more than enough opportunities to get his team to the October Classic.

Fortunately, the Phillies have the same won/loss record at this point as they did during the last two years at this time of the season. Remember, in both of those years they did make it to the World Series. I hope that that is a good omen for the Phils.

(Thank you for reading. Please remember it is the heat...it is the humidity! Don’t make me kill you!)

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