One Percent Motors, Inc.
Sales
Person: “Hi folks! Welcome to One
Percent Motors! What can I do for you
today?"
Husband:
“Well, we’re thinking about getting a new vehicle, something that will move us
forward. Oh, by the way, my name is He-Can’t-Make-Up-His-Mind,
and this is my wife, Undecided-Can’t-Make-Up-Her-Mind."
Wife: “Hi!
My friends call me Unde!”
Sales
Person: “Nice to meet you! Are you looking to trade?"
Husband: ”Well, all we have to offer is our old car over there…”
Sales
Person: “Oh, yes, a 2008 Obama! It looks
like it has seen better days!”
Husband: “I
don’t know, it seemed like a good purchase at the time, but…."
Sales
Person: “But it fell short of its promises! Yeah, I hear that a lot about that model. Well, let’s see what we can do for you…hey,
can I interest you in a 2013 Romney? Here’s a model over here….”
Wife: “Oooohhh….”
Sales
Person: “It’s sleek, stylish, yet ‘not elegantly stated'! There’s been a lot of interest in this
model.”
Husband: “Hmm, I don’t know. What kind of
mileage does it get?”
Sales
Person: “That has yet to be determined."
Husband:
“What?”
Sales
Person: “What I mean is, I could give you a number, but you might take it and
twist it all around to make it mean what you want it to mean. So the mileage hasn’t been released yet. It’s
something that isn’t automatically a given. It has to be tested and debated in the public realm. You know what I’m saying.”
Wife: “Umm, no.”
Husband: “Isn’t the Romney missing a few things?”
Sales
Person: “Missing? Like what?”
Husband:
“Like a body?
Sales
Person: “Body?”
Husband:
“Yeah, you know, pieces of sheet metal fitted around the framework, painted and
shined to look attractive to the consumer. All I can see is the metal framework."
Sales
Person: “Oh. That body.”
Wife: “How
does it go?”
Sales
Person: “What do you mean?”
Wife: “How
does it go? Where’s the engine?”
Sales
Person: “That has yet to be determined.”
Husband:
“What? It has to be determined if it has
an engine or not?”
Sales
Person: “Okay, I know what you’re thinking. The Romney is not a complete car, I’ll admit that. In fact, it’s a work in progress.”
Wife: “Hey,
is that a pet carrier strapped on top?”
Sales
Person: “Yes, but the good news is that
the carrier is not an option. It comes
standard with all models.”
Husband:
“Oh, I don’t know. It doesn’t look like
it’s ready to be functional yet. Any
ideas on when it will be ready?”
Sales
Person: “Well, let me check my laptop here and see if we have any news from
the factory on a completion date. Hmm...uh-huh...”
Husband:
“What? What do you see?”
Sales
Person: “Just a moment, it’s still
coming through…”
Wife: "Hey, wait a minute, that’s not a laptop! That’s an Etch-A-Sketch!”
Sales
Person: “What? Oh, yeah, well you should’ve been here last week when all I had
was an Eight Ball.”
Husband:
“I’m not surprised!”
Sales
Person: “I’m kidding, I’m kidding!"
Wife: “Well,
at least it comes with a large trunk. Look at all of the baggage displayed in this model.”
Sales
Person: “That’s not a display, ma’am. All that luggage comes with the car."
Wife: “It
comes with the car?”
Sales
Person: “Again, standard equipment. The
Romney comes with a lot of baggage.”
Husband:
“Okay, I’ve seen enough. Thanks for your
time, but I think we’ll hold on to our car for a little while longer.”
Sales
Person: “Wait, wait! Can I interest you
in something else? Maybe something
pre-owned?"
Wife: “Like?”
Sales
Person: “Well, like the 2012
Gingrich!”
Wife:
“Pre-owned? That’s an understatement!”
Husband and
Wife (unison): “Baggage!”
Sales
Person: “Or how about the 2009
Palin! It’s known for its great legs - I
mean mileage, great mileage! It runs on
sound bites and moose manure…”
Husband:
“Bye! Let’s get out of here, Unde!”
(Thanks for
reading. Remember, friends shouldn’t let
other friends vote Republican and drive.)
2 Comments:
Genius.
Sheer genius!
Very clever indeed!
But what about the very attractive Paul Ryan tight little glovebox? :-) ('cause you yet again mentioned Palin's legs)
Love, Janey
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