arteejee

A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Snort Notes – August 2012


We can’t end the month without an installment of snort notes. This month will be slightly different. Instead of notations on three or four stories, I’ll just have two topics to share: Neil Armstrong and the Republican National Convention.

AMERICA MOURNS THE DEATH OF APOLLO 11 ASTRONAUT NEIL ARMSTRONG

Armstrong, who has been described in one account as “a nerdy engineer who kept to himself,” died Saturday, August 25, from complications due to heart surgery. The former astronaut was 82, and had virtually disappeared from public view since he returned from the moon in July, 1969. He never tried to parlay his heroic act into a second career (like politics), but seemed content to live his life in private. 

Perhaps his being chosen for the mission was a matter of luck coupled with his having the right qualifications for the mission. Still, his feat was amazing given the fact that he was the first human being to ever set foot on a planetary body beyond the Earth’s atmosphere. How he managed to live his life as he saw fit with that achievement on his resume is equally amazing. Of course, it probably helped that there was no 24/7 news cycle in 1969.

Armstrong has received many tributes since his passing. In keeping with the nation’s honoring of heroes, President Obama has ordered flags flown at half-mast on government buildings. There have been calls from Ohio to give Armstrong services in Washington befitting former presidents, but it appears that the astronaut’s family is planning private services in Cincinnati. 

Rest in Peace, Mr. Armstrong.

ACT OF GOD IN THE FORM OF A HURRICANE ALTERS SCHEDULE FOR REPUBLICAN NATIONAL CONVENTION IN TAMPA

Wouldn’t you know it? The political party which professes to have God’s back when it comes to social issues like abortion and gay rights gets upstaged by the Lord just when they are having their biggest party in four years. Way to go, God!

Unfortunately, the act will most likely cause massive destruction once Hurricane Isaac makes landfall, which is now predicted to be at New Orleans.  Keep in mind that the Big Easy is still rebuilding from the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina that struck the city 7 years ago to the day. It’s not going to be fun in New Orleans this week.

In Tampa, the GOP will try to carry on as best they can while they go through the motions of coronating Mitt Romney as their choice to run against Barack Obama. They will most likely try to keep the mood as festive as possible, even as they realize that many people will be watching Isaac. Of course, they’re concerned about the possible destruction and loss of life while they carry out their party duties. Obviously they’re not concerned enough to go to extremes and cancel the event; since there would be no more time to reschedule the convention, they would just concede the White House to Barack Obama two months before Election Day. Hey, a liberal can dream, can’t he?

So what will the few people watching the convention see? Well, they won’t see as much as originally planned. The first day’s events were abbreviated for the sake of delegate safety. This led to changing schedules around for the shortened time period. Fortunately, two of the speakers, Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal and Florida Governor Rick Scott have bowed out to turn their attentions to Hurricane Isaac. Kudos to both you gentlemen for keeping your priorities straight. (This may be the first and last time I will commend these two on this blog, so enjoy!)

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie gave the keynote address, and it’s a safe bet that it wasn’t broadcast with a letterbox screen. Christie will need a full screen to accommodate his (expanding) girth. What did we expect, that New Jersey’s chief executive would trim his appetite even as he trims the appetite for big state government? No way! Back home in Trenton, Christie noshes on a steady diet of hecklers, with the occasional ice cream cone at the Jersey shore. And everyone knows how fattening hecklers can be!

Romney's spouse, Ann, also addressed the convention. She made news a few weeks ago when she defiantly refused to release any tax returns other than those minimally required by law. She claimed at the time they have nothing to hide. I had hoped that she would use the speech to offer a more valid reason for not releasing the returns. Frankly, the only excuse I will accept: the returns were soiled last year when the Romney clan took another vacation, and they used the tax documents to line the bottom of their family dog’s pet carrier. Beyond that, there should indeed be nothing to hide.

All in all, the convention promises to be rather routine. A possible rebellion on the floor — and the one hope of a political drama played on live television — has been averted due to compromise. Bummer! Just when you need some excitement at a political rally, the delegates use a device that they refuse to use otherwise for the good of the nation. It would be very helpful if they used these negotiating skills once the players return to Washington.

When it’s all said and done, Romney will be nominated, but Hurricane Isaac will get all of the attention.

(Thank you for reading. “Fly me to the moon….”)

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