arteejee

A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Location: Southeastern, Pennsylvania, United States

Sunday, November 04, 2012

Decision Time



Okay, listen up everyone. It is nearly time to make that fateful decision which has been hanging over our heads for what, a year and a half now? In two days, we the people will finally get a chance to actually cast our vote for the next President of the United States; as opposed to us telling an annoyingly number of pollsters who we support and then have them turn around and tell us who we are supporting.  

It’s a vicious cycle, and this isn’t even counting America’s version of Chinese water torture: the American political radio/television commercial. Tragically, even though we all suffer and tolerate these ads, studies now show that they don’t sway as many voters as the political campaigns would like. Most of us already know for whom we are voting on Tuesday, and indeed most of us knew last year for whom we were voting, usually based on our own partisan leanings.

So, to summarize what each candidate is bringing to this election, herewith is a brief word jumble, or montage if you will, of political concepts, achievements and baggage.

BARACK OBAMA

Worst recession ever inherited from George W; bail out Wall Street; bail out Detroit; stimulus funding; fighting off birthers; fighting off accusations of being Muslim; Affordable Health Care Act; “I’m okay with calling it Obamacare because I do care”; no budget deal; super committee failure; fiscal cliff dead ahead; we killed bin Laden; coming out for same-sex marriage; Occupy Wall Street; raise taxes for the one-percenters; cut taxes for everyone else; Benghazi attack; first debate fail; rape is a crime; life is a rock and the radio rolled me; gotta turn it up louder so my deejay told me….

Okay, I lapsed into a 1970’s song lyric towards the end, but I hope you get the idea.

MITT ROMNEY

Former governor with healthcare reform greatest achievement; US Olympics bailout; family dog on top of the car; speculative venture capitalist; “I like to fire people”; offshore tax havens; pretending like Romneycare never happened;  Romneycare can be a model for the nation; no, he didn’t mean that; support abortion for cases of rape and life of the mother; no, he didn’t mean that; he didn’t pay taxes for years; only release a few years of returns; can’t tell you specifics of what I would do, because you’ll only analyze it to death; marriage is one man, one woman; yes, he did mean that; celebrities talking to empty chairs; first debate bump; 47 percent; binders full of women; foreign policy gaffes, gaffes, gaffes…

Okay, I got stuck into a groove towards the end, like a needle stuck in a defect on a vinyl record. (Remember those?)

So, readers, you may wonder where I stand? Gee, hasn’t the obvious left of center bias of my blog writings given any clues? Of course, I am hoping Obama gets re-elected, but let me explain by way of an anecdote.

A few weeks ago, we had dinner with my niece by marriage, her husband, and her mother, a staunch Chester County Republican. The subject of politics was kept to a bare minimum, save for a shared laugh over Romney’s “binders full of women” debate line. My sister-in-law admitted she enjoyed the jokes about his mistake, even though she likes Romney.

I must agree with her up to a point. Mitt Romney seems to be a likable character, charismatic in a certain, arrogant, look-down-his-nose-from-his-one-percent-mantle-at-the-rest-of-us sort of way. I must admit I admire his ingenuity at resolving problems of transporting pets. So, with a caveat, I must admit I also like Romney, as in I LIKE ROMNEY TO STAY AS FAR AWAY FROM THE WHITE HOUSE AS POSSIBLE!!!!!

That said, I must admit I am not fully 100% satisfied with Obama’s first term, but let’s be fair. We the people stuck him with a contrary Congress, thwarting any attempts at bipartisanship on many issues. The economic crisis he inherited is only now starting to see some resolution four years after his inheritance. Obama himself admits that the recovery has been slow, but he keeps telling us to look forward as the situation is improving. On other issues, like gun control and immigration, Obama has been a disappointment to many liberals. Perhaps he’ll be able to work on these issues in a second term.

In the meantime, a time for rejoicing is almost at hand! The end of the political ads is in sight! It won’t be too much longer now when all these messages about how each candidate will work to improve our future will go away, and we can actually look forward to, um, improving our future.

 (Thank you for reading. Just vote already! FORWARD!)

1 Comments:

Blogger Bob said...

You're preachin' to the choir!

My hope is that the only way Mittsy and Queen Ann get into the White House is as part of a tour group.

November 4, 2012 at 1:34 PM  

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