The Not So Young and Clueless

Ladies and gentlemen, please allow me to nominate two individuals worthy of the title Fool of the Year.

Our first nominee: Gene “Tough Love Gun” Simmons, bassist for the 70s rock group KISS.

In the days since Robin Williams' death, the iconic musician and reality TV star spoke about his lack of tolerance for drug addicts and alcoholics. At this point, he went on to express his seeming lack of sympathy for those with suicidal ideations. Simmons was quoted in an interview as saying, “I’m the guy who says jump when there’s a guy on top of a building who says, ‘That’s it.  I’m can’t take it anymore. I’m going to jump.’”

Now we know why Simmons pursued a career in show business and not psychiatry. Which reminds me… time for another episode of Tough Love with Gene Simmons:

Man: "Doc, I’m so depressed. The pressure is too great. I’m thinking about killing myself.”

Simmons: "Here, let me help you. I’ll open my window and you can help yourself."

Man: "What? How are you helping me with my depression?"

Simmons: "Believe me, I would love to do more, but my professional ethic dictates that I can’t actually push you out. By the way, when you do jump, try not to hit the Beemer. That’s mine.”

Simmons explained that his mother survived the concentration camps in Nazi Germany. He reasons that if she can still get up every morning and face the world after that experience, then he can’t see why some 20-something in Seattle wants to end it all. Never mind that the 20-something could be screwed  up because his parents, when they were his age, pledged undying allegiance to a music quartet that played heavy loud music and only appeared  in public wearing Kabuki makeup. Naturally that has nothing to do with junior’s mental state!

Granted, Simmons does have a point: surviving the most horrifying acts of genocide in human history is a large yardstick to measure your own travails against. Still, it should not give people the feeling that they have free license to push people over the edge into the psychological abyss.

Second nomination: Ferguson, MO mayor James Knowles, for his comments on the racial tensions in his town since African-American teenager Michael Brown was shot to death by a Ferguson police officer earlier this month. Basically, he’s adopted the Alfred E. Neuman “What, me worry?” attitude, declaring on national television, “There’s not a racial divide in Ferguson.”

Okay, so I guess a shooting of an unarmed teenager in the middle of the day, with subsequent crowds of people seeking justice via peaceful protests, and after night falls the criminal element takes advantage of the tense atmosphere and escalates the protests into violent confrontations with a police force that suddenly look and act like Nazi storm troopers (there are those damn Nazis again!) are signs of a typical day in Ferguson???!!!

Really, Mr. Knowles? And what else do you do in Ferguson for shits and giggles?

Political commentators have been quick to point out Knowles' cluelessness with his town’s situation. A few blog commentators have weighed in with their own remembrances of Ferguson’s long standing tradition of racism. Yet Knowles insists there’s no racial divide.

Well, we all know what to do with clueless politicians. Knowles should be voted out of office and put someplace where clueless politicians have proven to be ineffective for the public good. Yes, we should put James Knowles in Congress, where we may never hear from him again! YAYYYYYY!!!!

Actually, I should be cautious of what I wish for…

UPDATE: Knowles' nomination for Fool of the Year has a better chance now that Simmons has apologized and walked back his alarming views on mental illness.

(Thank you for reading! Man: “Doc, you gotta help me!” Simmons: “What?  You still here?”)