arteejee

A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Location: Southeastern, Pennsylvania, United States

Wednesday, March 28, 2018

Advice in BOLD CAPS


One of the more outrageous recent events included the President’s phone call to Soviet Dictator for Life Vladimir Putin.  Herr Orange congratulated Putin on winning re-election to his leadership position for the fourth time.  On the surface, there would be nothing wrong with our leader calling another world leader to extend congratulations and best wishes for their accomplishment.  Normally there would be nothing wrong, but there has been nothing normal about our President since he took office.

This phone call was not made under normal circumstances.  Consider that our leader — the head of state of the leading democracy in the world — was calling to congratulate a despot who won re-election to his post in a rigged and decidedly un-democratic electoral process.

Then there was also the news item released after the phone call was the tidbit that the President’s National Security Adviser specifically instructed our leader not to congratulate Putin on his victory.  In fact, the instruction was printed in BOLD CAPS in a memo to the President: DON’T CONGRATULATE PUTIN.

Of course, the President being the President knows more how to do things than all of the best people around him.  The advice was ignored and Americans once again feel ashamed of their leader.

The incident got me thinking that, based on the President’s past, what other BOLD CAP warnings he has received and chosen to ignore over the years.  A short list could look something like this:

TREAT ALL WOMEN WITH RESPECT.

DON’T FIRE FBI DIRECTOR COMEY.

AMERICA NEVER STOPPED BEING GREAT.

DON’T FIRE FBI ASSISTANT DEPUTY MCCABE.

EAT YOUR VEGETABLES.

DON’T FIRE (INSERT NAME OF DISLOYAL DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE EMPLOYEE HERE).

LISTEN TO YOUR LAWYERS.

DON’T DISCRIMINATE AGAINST MINORITIES SEEKING TO RENT PROPERTY FROM YOU.

WARNING: LARK'S VOMIT*

Readers are encouraged to add their own thoughts to this list.

*Courtesy of Whizzo Chocolate Assortment which includes such delicacies as Crunchy Frog and Anthrax Ripple.


(Thank you for reading.  AND DO EVERYTHING WE WOULDN’T DO IN A CIVILIZED SOCIETY!)

6 Comments:

Blogger Raybeard said...

Don't give your sychophantic cronies plum jobs for which they have no training - e.g. your doctor, as a completely random example.

March 29, 2018 at 1:33 AM  
Blogger Deedles said...

I think you have everything pretty much well covered. Wonderfully, I might add.

March 29, 2018 at 10:29 AM  
Blogger Dave R said...

Your forgot "DELETE YOUR TWITTER ACCOUNT... NOW.

March 31, 2018 at 2:32 PM  
Blogger todd gunther said...

Thank you Raybeard for your contribution.

Thank you, Deedles. There's always room for more....

Excellent suggestion, Dave R!

April 1, 2018 at 5:21 PM  
Blogger Ur-spo said...

eating vegetables is the most sensible of the listed advices.

April 1, 2018 at 7:34 PM  
Blogger todd gunther said...

We already know he doesn't eat anything that's not cooked by McDonald's!

April 5, 2018 at 6:42 AM  

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