arteejee

A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Sunday, March 18, 2018

Why America Can’t Have Nice Things #1

I may be mistaken but the current regime in the White House may be setting a record for the number of minutes/hours/days since an employee of the West Wing was fired/dismissed/resigned/position terminated/quit in a huff/walked out/or otherwise dragged out kicking and screaming. 

This weekend’s firing of Deputy FBI Director Andrew McCabe doesn’t count; he worked for a different branch of the US government.  Consequently, this other branch is a circus all onto itself!

The news coming out of the Beltway is always surprising anymore, because it’s always new.  New as in everything happening in Washington now has never happened before.

Example #1

A porn movie actress had an affair with the current President about 13 years ago just after the current President had married his current wife.  At the time the actress was paid off and signed a non-disclosure agreement which (theoretically) would keep her mouth shut for in perpetuity.   Fast forward to today’s #Me Too cultural movement and the porn actress suddenly starts talking about the affair because (Question #1):

(a) She got caught up in the moment of women coming forward to voice their experiences of sexual harassment.

(b) She wants more money to keep quiet.

(c) She forgot the meaning of the concept of in perpetuity.

(d) The current President neglected to sign the non-disclosure agreement.

(Answer key below.)

As a follow up, there are now rumors that the current President is threatening to sue his former mistress if she doesn’t shut up.  A sitting US President has not had to do this since (Question #2):

(a) Never, because all previous occupants of the Oval Office had enough self-respect for themselves and the office that they never got themselves in such a predicament.  Well, maybe everyone but Bill Clinton…

(b) Not since ever.

(c) Nada.

(d) All of the above.

(Answer key below.)

Ironically, this whole story of the affair, the non-disclosure agreement, the reneging of the non-disclosure agreement, and now the threats and counter-threats does not matter.   The current President has set such a low standard of morality and standards that no one (least of all the Evangelicals who would be outraged if Obama had been found with a mistress) seem to be upset about this story.

Example #2

Russian leader Vladimir Putin is expected to win re-election as dictator since all other opponents are prohibited from running against him.

See, America!   See how easy democracy can be!  If a former communist country like Russia can get it right, then why can’t…oh, wait a minute.

This is why America can no longer have nice things: we don’t deserve them because we’ve become a nation of hypocrites.   Sad!

Answers to quiz:

1. d. Officially, although any one of the others are also acceptable scenarios.

2. d. Wasn’t this the easiest quiz you ever took?

3. m.  Don’t feel bad if you didn’t get this one.  It was a trick question.

(Thank you for reading.  Question #3 may appear in a future post but could be fake news.)

4 Comments:

Blogger Deedles said...

I got all of these right because I'm told that alternative #3s are valid. Yay, I love multiple choice!

March 18, 2018 at 7:54 PM  
Blogger Raybeard said...

Will POTUS be sending congrats to Mr Putrid on his stunning 'victory'? You bet he will! He'll be envious beyond words for his BF. And you can be sure there'll be lots and lots of XXXXXXs on the bottom.

March 19, 2018 at 1:41 AM  
Blogger todd gunther said...

Thanks for playing along, Deedles.

Most likely there will be at least a congratulatory phone call with lots of smoozing. Please have a good day, Raybeard.

March 19, 2018 at 6:51 AM  
Anonymous Old Lurker said...

I'm so bad at these quizzes. I got all the answers wrong!

March 21, 2018 at 6:50 PM  

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