A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Location: Southeastern, Pennsylvania, United States

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

911 Emergency – Administration Under Siege!

When I started this blog, I had some doubts that I would find enough inspiration in daily events to keep it up on a weekly basis. I shall doubt no more! Just as Will Rogers had the best comedy writing staff at that time (namely Congress), then I shall dip from the Washington well too. If you thought that last clause was dizzying, then you ain't seen nothing yet.

Recently, former FEMA head Michael Brown testified again in front of Congress about the Bush administration’s response to the Hurricane Katrina disaster. Since he was no longer an administration employee, he was not obligated to keep internal memos confidential. He did not disappoint; as far as we can tell he sang like a bird! It will not be too difficult to imagine the response from the White House. It will probably go something like this:

My fellow Americans, ever since 9/11 when America was brutally attacked on our own soil, this administration has been empowered to prevent future attacks. We formed the Office of Homeland Security in the months after 9/11, with its intended goal to gather information from a variety of government agencies in order to combat the terrorists. We have worked very, very hard in the years since 9/11. We have had success in our struggle with the 9/11 terrorists. Earlier this week, we reported that we foiled a plot to use shoe bombs to take over another American flight in October 2002, which incidentally was thirteen months after 9/11. Now, the Office of Homeland Security has come under fire for its handling of Hurricane Katrina relief, which as you may recall, happened nearly four years after 9/11. My administration understands the 9/11 anxiety felt by the American people. I’m sure the American people also understand that my administration understands their anxiety over the 9/11 attacks. In this way, we have created empathy between us about 9/11. We will continue to use this empathy to our advantage in preventing future 9/11 style attacks on our country. Thank you and 9/11, I mean, good night.

(Sometimes these things just write themselves!)


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