A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Location: Southeastern, Pennsylvania, United States

Friday, December 01, 2006

Overtaken by the Spirit of the Season

It is that time of year again for the Christian world to celebrate the birth of the savior, Jesus Christ. It is also a time of reflection when those of us who believe in the Christian faith should reflect on our past actions and strive to make the world a better place for everyone. As it is said over and over again at this time of year, “Peace on Earth and Good Will” I knew that! It was on the tip of my fingertips! Honest!

Yes, this is the time of year when Christians all over the world attempt to actually live the ideals that Jesus advocated. Of course, these ideals usually get in the way of day-to-day living during the rest of the year. That’s why Christmas is limited (officially) to one day.

It wasn’t our idea to start the season before Labor Day; that idea came from the retail industry. It’s not our fault that people from other cultures actually believe that we wish them peace and happiness in whatever way they choose to live their lives. If that were true, then we wouldn’t have spent the last two millenniums trying to convert them to our beliefs.

Okay, so in the spirit of the season, I should wish the Pope well in his efforts to make amends to the Muslim world for his careless comments earlier this year. I also wish that a solution could be found for all international conflicts all over the world: Jews and Muslims, Jews and Christians, Muslims and Christians, British and Irish, Democrats and Republicans, red staters and blue staters, Michael Richards and the black community, Mel Gibson and the Jewish community, and so on.

I’m sorry, I didn’t mean all that. I couldn't care less about any of these things. After all, conflict is drama, and drama is interesting. Also, consider this: there is no money in peace. As an example, how many billions of dollars did the US government spend last year to distribute daisies all over the world? Zip! Nada! Null set! Then how many billions did we spend on new weapons that could wipe out whole cities in the blink of an eye? See my point?

I must have gotten carried away with the good will of the season. It must’ve been those Christmas songs on the radio that moved me to make such wishes. I mean, you have to be affected if you heard five different versions of “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas” within the space of eight hours. A few more weeks of these songs and I might actually start to believe this stuff!

Peace on Earth! What are we thinking? Good will to men! This flies against the grain of human nature!

So if you must, give gifts, gather family and friends together, eat, drink and be merry. Just don’t kill yourself in the stampede to get that X-Box system that little Johnny has to find under the tree. It’s not worth all that. After all, it’s just Christmas.

(On a serious note, I must extend good wishes to one of my loyal readers and co-worker, Damon Oliver. Get well soon, Damon!)


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