A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

My Photo
Location: Southeastern, Pennsylvania, United States

Saturday, December 05, 2009

Snort Notes – December 2009

News from Hollywood: Tom Cruise and John Travolta set to star in a remake of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.

What? What did we do to deserve this? God, why have you forsaken us?

It’s not like we humans like to mess with perfection...okay, forget that argument. I know, I know. We build our entire lives out of messing with perfection. Still, why Butch Cassidy? There is nothing on which to improve. It’s not like we demand that you rewrite the Ten Commandments. Yes, we bend them, we break them, but we’ve never remade them.

All right, technically C.B. DeMille did remake The Ten Commandments in 1957. My point remains, what can be improved upon the original? It’s unwarranted, and to my knowledge, no one asked for it.

President Barack Obama’s first state dinner is marred by party crashing high society couple Michaele and Tareq Salahi getting past two Secret Service checkpoints at the White House. The couple has copped the Balloon Boy defense: they were doing it as part of a reality television series, Real Housewives of DC.

As if the President doesn’t have enough on his plate, now he has to worry about getting punked by reality TV. It’s clear to me what he needs to do — after (of course) ramping up military forces in Afghanistan, shepherding health care reform through Congress, and calling his Secret Service detail on the carpet: outlawing reality television.

The whole genre may still get great ratings, but, as a useful component of the entertainment industry, reality television has outlived its usefulness. For the second time in as many months, the public has been endangered by the antics of people trying to get noticed for a reality television show. Balloon boy’s parents forced federal authorities to reroute air traffic in Colorado while officials frantically tracked the progress of a silver Mylar ship that - they believed - had a small boy in it. Thousands of people were inconvenienced, and the whole incident at the very least was a public nuisance.

The crashing couple has, since the incident last week at the White House, boasted about their adventure on the Internet, and tried to cash in further with an interview with Larry King. No, this is wrong and complicates things further. It’s one thing to cause a security breach just to get on television, but it’s quite another to stretch their fifteen minutes of fame further by whoring on television talk shows.

I hope the rest of the media treats this couple like they have swine flu. We don’t need to encourage this kind of behavior. We need to stop this tendency to sensationalize every little news item. I know that this idea will create an upheaval in the entertainment industry. On the downside, cable outlets like the Fox News Network will disappear. On the upside, cable outlets like the Fox News Network will disappear. Speaking of Fox...

Commentators on morning news program Fox and Friends make a bet with former Bush adviser/Dark Lord Karl Rove. The loser has to appear on the program dressed in pajamas.

Again, what did we do to deserve this? God, why have you forsaken us?

Janet Jackson’s very brief flash of nipple on live television was bad enough, but Karl Rove lounging in his pee-jays on national television? I’m feeling nauseous...

(Thank you for reading. Please try to put the idea of balding, middle-aged men in nightwear out of your mind. Watch a good movie, like the original "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.")


Post a Comment

<< Home