A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Location: Southeastern, Pennsylvania, United States

Friday, October 08, 2010

Libra! Libra! Libra!

It’s time to celebrate the many wonderful people born under the Zodiac sign of Libra. For those who may have forgotten, this includes anyone who celebrates their entrance into the world between September 22 and October 22. Of course, this includes moi!

Before we start dropping names, we should enumerate the qualities — good, bad and indifferent - of the typical Libran. We are known to balance all options of any decision we are about to make. (That’s my theory as to why our sign is represented by a pair of scales.) This is very good when it comes to making diplomatic decisions on a global scale which could affect the lives of millions. On the other hand, this quality is a pain in the ass when you can’t decide to get your bacon triple cheeseburger with fries or not because the oil-drenched potato side dish is not heart healthy!

Don’t take my word for it! Just ask my wife, Anne Marie. Just make sure there are no small children around when she answers.

We are artistically inclined, and many of us find our creative outlets in music. Arguably this creative quality is many times fueled by periods of deep depression and feelings of insecurity. Let’s face: we Librans are a moody lot.

Over the years, I have observed and concluded that many Librans are sensitive...very sensitive. So sensitive, that we crumble into an emotional pit of despair if another person so much as look at us the wrong way. Yes, many of us Librans have egos constructed of tissue paper.

Two Librans who I idolize were both sensitive souls with quick acid wits and mother issues. Groucho Marx celebrated his day on October 2, with John Lennon coming into the world on October 9. These two men entertained millions during the course of their lifetimes. Their words and music continue to entertain people all over the world. The comedy troupe Firesign Theatre said it best when they famously declared, “All hail Marx and Lennon!” (I wonder how long it will take for members of the Tea Party to jump on that line!)

American comedy teams are well represented in October. Straight man Bud Abbott of Abbott and Costello was also born on October 2. Two of the six men who would find fame as The Three Stooges were Libras: Larry Fine (October 5) and Jerome “Curly” Howard just making it under the October 22nd deadline.

Librans have made great leaders, famous for their advocacy of peace and social justice. Gandhi (also the 2nd) and William Penn (October 14) immediately come to mind. While we’re talking about a leader of activism, we shouldn’t forget musician Bob Geldof (October 5).

Dwight David Eisenhower (the 14th) led Americans to victory in World War II, and led the country itself during a time of peace. That was the 1950s, when everyone would wear clothes, listen to music, and watch a new-fangled invention called television that a future generation would envy. Of course, getting all weepy-eyed at this nostalgia overlooks a few things. One thing was the pervasive paranoia caused by Senator Joseph McCarthy finding a commie under every rock. Then there was the underlying terrifying anxiety that the commies in Moscow would bomb us back to the Stone Age at any moment. Happy days, indeed!

Libras are well represented in literature. America’s greatest playwrights - Eugene O’Neill (the 16th) and Arthur Miller (the 17th) were born Libras. Another literary lion, Oscar Wilde, was also born on the 16th.

There are many others I could mention, but time and space doesn’t permit me to do that. So my apologies to Brigitte Bardot, Deborah Kerr, George Peppard, Julie Andrews, Franz Liszt, Sarah Duchess of York and many, many others. Needless to say, I’m just so proud of all of these wonderful, talented Libras that it makes me want to do an interpretive dance...

(EDITOR’S NOTE: Mr. Gunther is unable to complete this entry owing to injuries sustained while doing his “interpretive dance”. We would have filmed it for posterity, but trust me on this, it wasn’t worth preserving. Let’s face it: he’s a middle-aged white man with no sense of rhythm at all. The good news is he will survive to blog again. Even more fortunately, our cat Meredith is quick on her feet. Otherwise it would have been a disaster.)

(Thank you for reading. Please remember today is a great day to be a Phillies phan!)


Anonymous Janey said...

I'm not sending your Birthday card until I see a video of your "interpretive dance"! :-) Is it anything like the time when, back in my college apartment, The Moonglow, you slid -- in slow motion -- off the orange fun-fur covered mushroom stool? Where there -- yet again -- mind-altering substances involved?

October 8, 2010 at 4:40 PM  

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