A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Location: Southeastern, Pennsylvania, United States

Tuesday, November 08, 2011

I’m Baaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!!!!

Good day everyone! I hope this entry finds everyone well. I want to thank everyone who looked in on my blog during the month of October. I apologize if I disappointed anyone, but there were other things that needed to be done. Now that those things are completed, I can come back and blog with impunity. I want to send a very special thank you to my two most loyal readers, one of whom begged me to come back. So thank you, Janey and Mom.

I will write at length about my coding class experiences later, but for now I feel like I need to play catch up on the events from October. It was quite an eventful month! My beloved Phillies proved once again that THEY were the team to beat to get to the World Series. Unfortunately, the St. Louis Cardinals were the ones doing the beating! The Cardinals went all the way for the 11th time in franchise history, while the Texas Rangers went home empty-handed for the second year in a row. Texas, we feel your pain. You not only had a losing World Series, but your governor is AWOL while he gallivants around the country trying to convince the American people that he should succeed Barack Obama.

I can’t leave the subject of the World Series without noting the general decline in today’s baseball players. I was dumbstruck when one of the World Series games was postponed because of rain! Rain, can you imagine? What a bunch of wussies! There was a time not so long ago when postponing a baseball championship would have been unheard of. This was back in baseball’s glory days when baseball players were made of steel and their bats were instruments of mass destruction! In case I’ve lost you, I’m referring to the great wonderful World Series of 2008! My Phillies played in the rain and they went on to win that decisive game against the Tampa Bay Rays. Okay, granted the game was called after five innings, but they came back a few nights later to win their second championship.

The next year the Phillies went to the World Series again, and this time a few of the games stretched into November. That’s November as in November, nearly winter! Okay, granted we lost that series, but I’d like to see how the wussie Cardinals play in November!

In October we bid farewell to Libyan dictator Moammar Ghadaffi, or Ghadafi, or Gandolfi, or however he spelled his name. He vowed to hold on to the death, and that’s what he got! Bloodied and beaten (complete with video that went viral on the World Wide Web), his reign ended in an alleged crossfire that looked suspiciously like a gangland execution straight out of The Godfather.

His end is no matter to us, because it is a tradition in the western Judeo-Christian culture which he so despised, to pause at times like this to remember the good things he did while he lived. Like, for instance, there was the time when he hired that guy to put a bomb...oh, wait, a lot of us died in that bombing. On the other hand, there was that speech when he said...oh, no, sorry. I forgot that he could be a major bitch when it came to demonizing Western culture.

To be honest, when it comes to saying something nice about Moammar Ghaddafi, I’ve got nothing. So, Moammar, sic semper tyrannus!

October is gone, and November is upon us. November is the month of Thanksgiving, a time to express gratitude for everything that life has bestowed on us. I’m grateful that I am working this year, as opposed to this time last year when I was unemployed. I am grateful that I had the opportunity to advance my career courtesy of CareerLinks, which enabled me to take the medical coding class which I’ve just completed. Most of all, I am grateful that God has seen fit to send us Ann Coulter! I haven’t talked about Ann in awhile, and Lord knows she is overdue for a drubbing in my blog! Honestly, she is one big reason that liberal bloggers like me get out of bed every morning.

Last week, Ms. Coulter defended black conservative political leader and entrepreneur Herman Cain from accusations of sexual harassment in his deep, dark past. She attempted to make the argument that liberals always make a big controversy out of scandals like this when liberals are just as guilty of committing the same sins. I won’t argue this point, Ann. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again: liberals have more fun! So get over it!

However, in further defending Cain and other black conservative like him, she raised the point that “our blacks are better than their blacks.” Oh dear, Ann. Dear, dear really stuck your spiked heels into your mouth this time!

I must point out, Ms. Coulter, a little historical tidbit that must have escaped your attention. However, in order to do so I would have to stoop to your level. Believe me, I find this idea just as repulsive as the next person. The very idea that a couple of white people should sit around and argue which of their blacks are better strikes me as ludicrous and so, oh, I don’t know, so antebellum.

Oh, what the hell! In the words of Red Skelton, “I dood it!”

Dear Ms. Coulter, if you believe that conservative blacks are better than liberal blacks because you believe they are more financially and materialistically successful, then by all means you are free to think that. However, I must point out to you that while your conservative blacks maybe better, one of our blacks is living in the White House!

BOOYAH!!!!! Ain’t I a bitch! All together now: “The bitch is back!!!!”

(Thank you for reading!)


Anonymous Janey said...

I posted a comment, but my posting of it was rejected -- WTF?

November 10, 2011 at 6:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Welcome back!! It was good t0 hear from you again.


November 10, 2011 at 2:43 PM  
Anonymous Janey said...

My second attempt was also denied, perhaps due to length. So I'll rise to the challenge of brevity: How fucking fabulous that you are BACK!


November 10, 2011 at 4:38 PM  

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