A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

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Location: Southeastern, Pennsylvania, United States

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

I Am a Job Creator

I know I’ve talked about my parents political proclivities in the past, but to understand where I’m coming from, a quick recap is in order. My mom has been a lifelong Democrat. My father was, until the last few years of his life, a lifelong Republican.

Mom explained to me one time that she sided with the Democrats because they usually looked out for the little guy, the average joe, society’s worker bees. I never did figure out what the hell Dad’s problem was. He would never discuss how he voted and politics was never discussed at the dinner table. Still, he kept a roof over our heads, fed and clothed us, but most importantly brought pizza home when he worked late on a Friday night. Dad was all right, except for the Republican thing, but hey, nobody’s perfect.

I’ll be the first to admit that many of my blog entries have been highly critical of the GOP. I know I’ve made many disparaging remarks about their ruthless, blasé attitude towards the disadvantaged in society. Unbeknownst to many people, I would make these comments with tongue in cheek and a knowing wink of the eye due to a perhaps extremely naïve belief that surely no one group of people can be so callous to another group of people.

Now I know the truth: Mother was right!

Case in point: there’s a current debate in Washington about the payroll tax. As you may recall from a previous episode of Federal Government Follies, a deal was cut last December to decrease the payroll tax contribution of many American workers from 6.5% to 4.5%. You may recall at the time that the Bush tax cuts were set to expire, and the Republicans were crying that those cuts shouldn’t expire because it would hurt the “job creators” (whoever the hell they are). So Obama, ever the centrist, conceded the point on the very rich, and allowed the middle class to enjoy a brief tax holiday.

Now this tax cut is due to expire at the end of this year (I did say “brief” tax holiday). As can be predicted, one side wants to let it expire, while the other side would like to renew it for hard-working Americans everywhere. Take a wild guess as to who is who.

Okay, everyone close your books and put your pencils down! The Democratic President – that champion of cutting deficits by advocating higher taxes for those who can afford it — wants to let the middle-class have their tax cut live on past the end of the year. The Republicans in Congress want — to paraphrase Jim Nabors, SURPRISE, SURPRISE, SURPRISE — want to stick it to the middle class while their very wealthy buds enjoy the lowest tax rates in this country’s history.

I don’t mind paying taxes, since many times they are used to fund many programs and ideas that are for the common good. And I really don’t mind paying taxes as long as everyone - and I mean everyone (are you listening, General Electric?) — pays their fair share. I’m not convinced that the super wealthy in this country are paying what they should be paying.

Don’t take my word for it, but consider the recent griping from one of their own — Warren Buffett. He has made it known that he believes that he and his neighbors in the upper tax brackets are not paying their fair share, and he’s been willing to whip out his checkbook to prove it. God Bless Warren Buffett!

My attitude towards this debate is I’m fine with a rise in my payroll tax, but it has to come with a comparable rise in the tax rates for the super rich. Otherwise, I will use the argument that they’ve used against the Democrats all year. You can’t tax me: I’m a job creator!

Since I’ve gone back to work, I’ve become more sensitive to my place in the capitalist hierarchy. In other words, I have done my best to spend a bit more each pay period than I have in the pay periods for the last ten years. It’s a habit that was a holdover from my six month unemployment stint, when I would meet my monthly obligations, but I wouldn’t hold the rest back for a rainy day.

After all, I was unemployed; as far as I was concerned, the rainy days were already here! I would go forth and stimulate the economy. And the economy liked it, but it proved to be an insatiable bitch, and always begged for more.

So today, I treat myself to breakfast at a local diner at least once a week. Friday nights, I’m in the mood for spending a little more money on a cheesesteak or a pizza on the way home from work (Gee, I wonder where that habit came from? Thanks, Dad!)

Okay, it might be only $10-$15, but if everyone could spend that amount every week, it might go a long way to keeping a business open, which keeps people employed, who in turn go and spend the money they earn at other businesses, which keeps them going, which...and so on!

I order goods more frequently on line than I ever have. Bed sheets from Haband, books and DVDs from Amazon, sauces and condiments from Fly Creek Cider Mill! I’m a spending fool!

So go ahead, raise my taxes! Then maybe I won’t be so generous in spreading my wealth (what little I have) around. I won’t eat breakfast out, and I’ll cut way back on my Internet spending. I’ll turn my back on the economy and leave it whimpering in my wake!

I swear I’ll do this if you raise my taxes, Republicans! Go ahead, play your hypercritical job creator card and see how the middle class reacts. You won’t jump start this economy on the bent over backs of the American worker, and you certainly can’t expect Warren Buffett to support the whole country either. Tax everyone fairly or not at all.

(Thank you for reading. Now go forth and order something...preferably something with pepperoni on top!)


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