A site of satirical musings, commentary and/or rhetorical criticism of the world at large.

My Photo
Location: Southeastern, Pennsylvania, United States

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

The Weekly Romney Gaffe Report

Ah, readers, a new week has begun in this political season. With this new week comes a fresh set of gaffes from Mitt Romney. Honestly, his weekend pronouncements on various issues allow liberals to look forward to Mondays!

This week Romney created a new reason for the federal government to not ensure that all Americans have access to affordable healthcare. In an interview on CBS 60 Minutes, he pointed out that the uninsured already have access to healthcare by just going to hospital emergency rooms. So, you see, there’s no need to mandate coverage for the uninsured, because they are already getting the care they need.

Obviously, this is not a perfect solution. When the uninsured get treated at emergency rooms, the facilities - that insist on making a profit (go figure) - do not absorb the costs. They adjust the pricing of their other services so that the loss is absorbed when the insured pay their bills. The insured would be people like you and me (the 47%). 
This has undoubtedly contributed to the high cost of healthcare in America. The spreading of the loss is an economic certainty that’s been known by a number of people for years. Those people are a) in the healthcare industry; b) in the healthcare insurance industry; c) everyone else who has had to pay a healthcare bill in recent memory; but not necessarily d) politicians. Obviously this little factoid of economics has been lost on Romney.

Oh, there have been a few politicians over the years that have acknowledged that there is a problem with the uninsured stampeding to their local emergency room every time they have a sniffle. In a 2007 interview with conservative host Glenn Beck, one politician even called the thought of the insured burdened with the cost of paying for the healthcare of uninsured people a form of socialism. That politician's name is, coincidentally, Mitt Romney!

Romney’s most recent statement flies in the face of the universal healthcare law enacted in the state of Massachusetts by you know who. That law was largely successful in cutting down on the number of uninsured seeking care at emergency rooms, according to the Huffington Post. Yet Romney is still sticking with the conservative mantra that what worked in one state won’t necessarily work in the other states.

So, Mitt, how do you know this until we try it?

This has been a good week for gaffes from the Romney camp already this week. He didn’t give us just one, but he gave us two gaffes! I swear, I love Mondays!

Last week, the plane carrying the candidate's wife, Ann, had to make an emergency landing due to smoke in the cabin. Romney later commented on the incident in a story published in the Los Angeles Times. Again, by way of the Huffington Post, Romney pointed out that a big problem with distressed aircraft is that “the windows don’t open. I don’t know why they don’t do that. It’s a real problem. So it’s very dangerous.” 

Gee, the only real dangerous problem I see at the moment is the idea that Romney might win the election! Also, how did the Times reporter manage to keep a straight face when the candidate made this incredible statement?

It turns out that there are several good reasons why windows on aircraft are sealed. One, as the article stressed, is the danger of hypoxia, which is brought on by the lack of oxygen at cruising altitudes. This is one reason why aircraft have oxygen masks available for all passengers.

Another reason is that the presence of any breach in the aircraft’s pressurized cabin would literally suck everything that isn’t nailed down out of the cabin and into the big blue yonder. This would include objects like magazines, laptops, trash, and, oh yes, last but not least, passengers. If Romney doesn’t believe this can happen, then he should take a break from his campaign, settle down with his wife Ann at home and watch the James Bond classic, GoldfingerA cabin breach could also, as the same climatic scene from the film points out, lead to the loss of control and crashing of the plane.

It makes me wonder if - by some bizarre chance Romney is actually elected - how long he will last as President. We’ve had presidents die in office from assassination, pneumonia, brain hemorrhage, and various other ailments. Romney may be the first President to die from gross arrogance and stupidity when he insists that the windows on Air Force One be opened while in flight.

Any survivors of such a disaster can take heart in the fact that there will always be an emergency room available to treat their injuries. They just need to check their insurance card at the door…

(Thank you for reading. Long live gaffes!)


Anonymous Janey said...

But Paul Ryan is soooo good-looking....! :-)

Love, Janey

September 26, 2012 at 6:47 AM  
Blogger Bob said...

Oh but Janey, good looks don't last, stupid is forever.

September 26, 2012 at 9:52 AM  
Anonymous Janey said...

Hi Bob,

As most of my boyfriends were both good-looking and stupid, I all too well know how good looks fade while stupidity lingers on... But thanks for the reminder! :-) Don't worry, I'm not going to vote for Romney/Ryan. I am just torturing RTG because four years ago he swooned -- I mean he DROOLED -- over the good-looking and stupid Sarah Palin. Another of life's eternal truths: paybacks are still a bitch!


September 27, 2012 at 8:34 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home